Mum's version of Ella

SHE SAID:
PRINCESS Ella walked out wearing purple sneakers, pink cow socks, red shorts, a paint-stained yellow t-shirt and a brown peaked cap. Dressed by Daddy. Of course.
She was set for a day out with her dad. Well, not looking like that, you’re not! As expected, Julian throws back at me: “It’s not a fashion parade’’.
It’s after such a statement that I’m compelled to want to steer the bloke in The Shed in the direction of our full-length bedroom mirrors. What would he see? Hair that’s cut every five weeks to the day, a pair of Oakleys resting atop a stylish black Nike cap, Quicksilver t-shirt, two-month-old shorts and another new pair of white sneakers (which look exactly like the other 12 pairs in his wardrobe).
Sorry, but when Ella leaves the house I want her to look respectable, not like some scrubber from the Bronx. No offense, J-Lo. You just never know when the next European prince will fall in love with a Tasmanian.
It must be noted that after a major tantrum (from Ella and the bloke in The Shed), Ella was promptly changed into more “appropriate’’ clothing. It was incredible to see an instant change in the way she presented herself – from sitting with her legs spread and belly hanging out to walking like a lady and giggling with hands clasped over her li’l mouth. Awww. Now tell me that’s not cute.
Now, I’m not advocating dressing our kids like Suri Cruise. There’s something wrong about preschoolers in high heels and designer coats. However, I do want to see hair done (not scruffy mops of knots) and clothes co-ordinated (sorry, but the Punky Brewster look went out of style in the ‘80s). Mum has spoken. Enough said.

Dad's version of Ella

HE SAID:
I ask you, what in the world is wrong with a brown hat, a yellow top, red shorts, hot pink socks and purple shoes?
Exactly. Nothing.
Yet when I was about to walk out the door having dressed Princess Ella in said attire, the look on my good wife’s face was as if I’d dumped Ella in a bucket of tar, ripped open a doona and dumped it on her head.
“She is not going out with those clothes on,’’ was the scream from Kel. Stunned, Ella and I looked at Kel like she’d just slapped us across the face with a frozen fish.
Ella and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. “Why not,’’ we thought (but did dare not utter).
Ella was happy. She was comfy and her track record suggested she’d get the clothes so dirty we’d be changing them again in an hour anyway. I was happy. I grabbed the first clothes I could from the pile of washing within arm’s reach and managed to get Ella completely dressed without spilling a drop of my coffee. Ella and I were going to watch a pet parade, not a fashion show, what did we care how we looked?
Well, obviously we’d missed a chapter in the “How to Keep Mum Happy” Handbook. As far as mum was concerned there was going to be other people we knew at the event and therefore Ella had to look “respectable” (even though Ella’s natural attire at home is a fairy dress, no undies – from not being bothered enough to put them back on after going to the toilet – and a Dora Explorer t-shirt).
No, it was clear. Apparently I could “inadvertently” teach Ella how to pick her nose or show her the joys of the “pull my finger” game, but dare I dress her in red shorts for a day out in public then it is grounds for divorce. I didn’t even buy her the red shorts. Kellie did.

So, is it important how your kids look when in public? Share your opinion on this  He Said She Said.

Also, Julian said he’d pay you if you voted for him in the Top 25 Daddy Blogs at Circle of Moms. Mind you, he said the same thing if I’d agree to marry him.

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17 Responses to He Said She Said: It’s not a fashion parade. Or is it?

  1. Barb says:

    I was sooooo looking forward to reading this post!

    I seriously hear your pain Kellie, and Julian, you and my husband obviously went to the same Daddy-Dress-School because if I were to lay out an entire wardrobe in front of him, the clothes you chose would be identical to the ones picked by you know who!

    This brings me back to a time over three years ago…. Darcy was foolishly born the day before Ellie’s dance concert. I wasn’t worried about coping with a new born, or remembering how to breast feed……I was simply terrified of what Chris was going to dress Ellie in when she came to meet her baby brother and then go over to the Theatre Royal for her concert. And my fears where 100% justified!!!! OMG! Ellie’s bottom draw is full of “bush clothes”. They belong ONLY in the bush! Overalls that any hick would be proud of, stockings (apparently it was a bit fresh in the morning) gumboots caked in mud, a stained Tee shirt that was so small it was more mid-drift with singlet hanging out, and because the thought of brushing her hair terrified him more than life itself, he opted for a large multicoloured headband…..cringe, my poor baby 🙁

    My beloved’s only comment when he saw the look of horror on my face was, “What???”

    Enough said…..

  2. THE BLOKE IN THE SHED says:

    Sounds like Ellie was dressed beautifully Barb. Nice job Chris ……………… what?

  3. Haha!!
    Oh this made me laugh.
    My husband is very similar to the bloke in the shed.
    Once, he even placed my daughter’s singlet ON TOP of her clothing (I was at work) and he went out in public with her.
    I was devasted when I learnt this because I have a reputation to protect haha!!
    I have since chilled out and no longer dress them as though they should be on the cover of pumpkin patch…but I do draw the line at underwear being placed over clothing.
    And mix matched colours…don’t even get me started 😉

    • Kel says:

      Oh dear, Romina. I should count my lucky stars underwear hasn’t been used on the outerlayer… yet!! I’m not too keen on Ella going out looking like Wonder Woman. Punky Brewster is bad enough!! LOL!!!! 🙂
      I think there’s a market there for educating men on how to dress children. Could make a fortune!

    • a singlet on top? Priceless!

  4. Toni says:

    I would love my kids to look half-way decent when we go anywhere, but after battling with the six of them over the last 27 years, I have no energy.
    I allowed my Princess to wear a fairy dress and gumboots in public every day for about 3 months, just to keep the peace.

    • Kel says:

      LOL! We had the gumboot look going for a while there too, Toni (primarily because they were pink and sparkly). However, I don’t think we ever managed to match them with a fairy dress. She is only three. There’s still time, I guess!!! LOL!
      I don’t blame you for giving up the battle. I’m struggling and I’m only three years into this mothering thing! 🙂

  5. amie says:

    that was hilarious! we have had almost the exact same argument!!!! I also have an oakley wearing, short fettish loving husband! Sometimes dean’s reasoning is to say that’s what she wanted to wear or its comfy!!! I am not sure who told dean that clothes that match aren’t comfy!

    • Kel says:

      Oh my goodness, Amie, I’ve heard those exact same excuses in our house! Are our husbands related? LOL!
      The more comments I’m reading today, the more I’m convinced there’s a market for educating dads on how to dress children!! 🙂

  6. Ana says:

    I think I’m a bit swayed by Kellie’s argument, but I think that’s because I’m quite a girly girl anyway, so why not dress my hypothetical little girl up in cute clothes?! Visiting from the Tea Party, great blog!
    A.x

  7. Still laughing. Love the idea of a “how not to dress your kids” show for dads! What a hoot!
    Happy Saturday.

  8. Love it! We have the same problem here. I even put the outfits together before putting them in the drawers, but my husband still insists on mixing and matching with downright hideous results. He is perfectly capable of dressing himself but simply has no idea when it comes to our girls.

    • Kel says:

      Yes, I think somewhere along the line men missed out on the lesson on how to dress little girls.
      Your dedication to pre-organising outfits is to be admired though. Well done! If only it worked, hey? 🙂

  9. Sara says:

    I can’t totally agree with the general consensus here, sorry.
    My daughter’s 3 too, it is important that she feels she has a say in something as personal and individual as the clothes she wears. I don’t choose what she wears anymore: she opens her drawers and chooses herself. If it’s stained, not suitable for the occasion or unfit for the weather I’ll suggest other options. And because I never forced her to wear something she didn’t want, whenever I make a suggestion she’s more willing to listen to me, never got a tantrum.

    Just my two cents 🙂

    • Kel says:

      Thanks for your comment, Sara. I must admit, most days Ella does take control of her wardrobe selections. At this age, they really do want to make their own decisions and be a little more independent. I guess, when going out, I become a little – dare I say it – vain!! LOL!
      At the moment, she’d addicted to wearing dresses – something to do with wanting to be a ballerina! 🙂

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