IF YOU’RE male and hoping to catch a laugh from The Bloke in The Shed, may I suggest you visit his page. This post really isn’t for your eyes.

SINCE the day I first hit “womanhood’’, life has been fraught with embarrassing moments.

If you’re a male and still reading, let me just say: this is secret women’s business. Umm… how can I put it? It’s about menstruation. No, not mentalstration. That’s what happens to my daughter when she picks her nose with too much vigour. I’m talking… periods. Yes, we’ll see you later then.

Anyway, back to the story…

My first red-faced encounter was during the end of Grade 6 summer holidays at Nan and Pops. Yes, you can probably already see where this is going. I went a whiter shade of pale when I first discovered that spot of red and had to lie down. On checking an hour later to see if it was just a figment of my imagination, I discovered more of the stuff. I was horrified, mortified, terrified. Terrified? Well, there was the little task of now having to tell Nan.

“Oh duck, you’ve probably just got a touch of piles,’’ Nan said. Yes Nan, of course, because I sit on cold cement all the time and no, I’m not of “that age’’. Really!  At bath time, she revisited the subject. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Pop. We’ll see how you go and if we need to we’ll get you some rags’’. What? Rags? What are you talking about? She then left the bathroom and made a beeline straight for Pop to announce how I’d “just become a woman’’. Let’s just say I didn’t look Pop in the eye for a few days afterwards.

More embarrassing moments ensued during the following year.

  • Like the time “my monthlies’’ went unnoticed by me but was visible by everyone else in Grade 7 as I walked around in my white and light blue school uniform.
  • The time I didn’t want to participate in the school swimming carnival and told the teacher I didn’t know how to use tampons. She proceeded to try and explain it to me. Ewww.
  • Then there was the moment Ella decided to empty the contents of my handbag all over the shop floor, pick up the tampons and ask “what are these, Mum?’’, while onlookers tried to divert their eyes.
  • My biggest concern now is wondering how I’m going to deal with the day my two girls come to me with the words “I’m bleeding’’ and this time a Wiggles bandaid just won’t cut it!

Where was Miss De Jour through all this? Well, Miss De Jour, an Australian company solely owned by an Aussie woman, is going to be there for one lucky reader by giving away a year’s supply of tampons. You have to admit, looking at her design, she’s made tampons you’d be proud to show off. Sassy, or what? In fact, she said she “thought that tampon packaging 12 years ago was very florally, very Laura Ashley and thought, `wow what happens if I ‘Calvin Klein’ the tampon market?’’’ You can find Miss De Jour on Facebook and Twitter.

To go in the draw to win a year’s supply of Miss De Jour tampons, tell me either the moment you discovered you had entered “womanhood” or an embarrassing moment dealing with your “P plates’’.  The giveaway closes *EXTENDED DATE* Sunday, June 19 at 7pm and a winner will be drawn randomly and announced on this blog and via Facebook and Twitter. Australian residents only. 

Are you game to try for more entries? Then here’s how you can up your chances in the draw. Each task is worth one extra entry, but must be included as a separate comment (or it won’t count).

  1. Click the Facebook button below and share this giveaway with your Facebook friends. Then leave a separate comment saying something along the lines of “I’ve shared this on Facebook’’.
  2. Click the Twitter button below and share this giveaway with your Twitter followers (Twitter handle is @ThreeLil). Then leave a separate comment saying something along the lines of “I’ve shared this on Twitter’’.

**DISCLAIMER: I received a year’s supply of Miss De Jour tampons. All opinions expressed are purely my own.

Aussie Giveaway Linky
Hosted by Three Lil Princesses and Tina Gray {dot} Me

Winner of the 12-month supply of Miss De Jour tampons was:

Meagan. Congratulations Meagan!

Meagan’s (embarrassing) answer was:

I remember getting my periods, they come at the worst possible time whilst we we’re out camping in the middle of no where!!! Poor mum was in a tizzie and we ended having to drive to town for ‘Supplies’. God love her she had to argue with my dad that we had to go and get important supplies as other families were there and she didn’t want to embarrass me by announcing to the whole camp that I had just become a women! In the end we got there tho…lol

Scroll down to the comments to read some more hilarious stories.

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35 Responses to WIN: Secret women’s business (Miss De Jour giveaway)

  1. Fiona says:

    It was year six and fortunately my sports uniform was bottle green.

    My poor sister was only 9 tho when she got hers 🙁

  2. Lynne says:

    My son found my Miss De Jour Tampons , when he asked could he open them I said no, they are mummies. He replied “and daddies” and I said no, he replied “and mine” and I had to yet again say no. He then said “what are they” I said just stuff for mummy. He said “what stuff” I said Tampons, he then said “can you eat them”, I answered no, his reply was “what are they then” I replied Tampons. He walked off; I thought all was forgotten…….

    Until this morning, Mr 4 ½ wakes up and one of the first things out of his mouth is “Tampons” and he proceeded to chant top note “Tampons, Tampons, Tampons” over and over and over again, and did so until I dropped him off at Pre School, and probably did so all day.

    I had to explain the whole story to his teacher; she was ok with it, as she told me that once a small boy had gone to class and pulled a Tampon out of his pocket for show and tell, it had fallen out of her pocket, opps.

  3. Elisha Squire says:

    Penguin High School GRADE 7 oh how clearly i remember !!!! Playing with the lads ( i was a bit of a tomboy ) when one of them, who shall remain nameless but let me tell you i STILL remember as clear as if it were yesterday his kindness as he quickly wrapped his jumper around my waist and told me i needed to go to the toilet !! He was soooooooo sweet and i was mortified.. of course i couldnt look him in the eye for the next 3.5 years … But ahh the memories.. Oh and my daughter is sure they go up ya butt! Where babies come from of course !!! xx

  4. Deb says:

    Oh gee sounds like you have a real doozy of a nan. Trying to keep my son quiet doing groceries I placed him in the trolley and was letting him rummage through my handbag, then yep he wips out the box of tampons, I quickly grabbed them and tried throwing them to the bottom of my bag when he starts screaming I want one of those lollies, lets just say the grocery list wasn’t completed that day and I have since made sure I dont buy the bright lovely packets that look like lollies to save the same embarrassment!!

  5. Elisha Squire says:

    Shared on FB XX

  6. Chrissy Mat says:

    I was 13 when mine first appeared. It was on a saturday and I’d had cramping pain all through my netball game. I had no idea what was happening until we got home and I noticed some blood in my underwear. I was really embarrassed and so I whispered in my mums ear at dinner she squealed with delight and gave me a hug, ran and got some tampons and pads and asked if I needed her help. I went bright red, said no and ran away not having a clue what to do.

    I’m a single mum of two little boys. They follow me everywhere even to the toilet and so they know all about periods. One day I’d taken my little boy to pre kindy, I was playing in the sandpit with my youngest (then 2) and there was a male father playing with his little boy (it was the father’s first and last time at pre kindy) My little boy said “Hello” and then REALLY loudly “Mummy’s got her periods” hahaha I thought it was quite funny, the man was VERY embarrassed. I’m used to it now, my little boy who’s now 3 is a real chatterbox and is always saying mummy has her periods.

    My 5yr old has a phobia of blood and gets quite upset when I bleed. He spends the week giving me hugs and patting me and offering to do everything for me….. hehe I love it!! and somehow I don’t feel like telling him it’s ok mummy can do that 🙂

    I’m always having to hide my tampons from the boys too as they love to play mousies with them. I actually have a great video of them playing with their ‘mice’ – they even made box houses for them…. That’s definitely one for their 21st birthdays

    • Chrissy Mat says:

      haha I just rememebered …… SO many times I’ve put my hand in my handbag looking for my lipgloss only to pull out a tampon and only realising what I’ve done when the lid wont come off 🙂

  7. Deb says:

    Shared on FB also:)

  8. michelle harding says:

    At a friend’s house, we were playing when we both realised what was happening & i had to run down the hill to go home, abit awkward !
    Kids pulling them out of the box & asking what these are ?? Answering with ‘ mum’s things, put them back ‘

  9. Sonja Greenwood says:

    Year 7 at home, in the school holidays with only my brothers to go to! Luckily my mother had thought to explain to my poor older brother, that if something like this should happen then where all the ‘girl stuff’ was kept. My older brother had a lot to do with raising me and my younger brother as children, as my father battled cancer for a number of years.So luckily for me he was used to putting his embarrasment aside and pointed me in the right direction of the ‘girl stuff’.
    One of the things no one had prepared me for was that getting your ‘p-plates’ was not a once off! i assumed that after you got them for the first time, you wouldn’t have to worry for the rest of your life! oh the naivity of a 13 year old!

  10. This isn’t really a that-time-of-the-month related story, but rather a post-birth-maternity-pad-shopping related one.
    My 3 year old was with me while I was stocking up on surfboards, and of course the aisle I needed had about twenty other people in it. I decided I could wait (even at 23 I was still embarrassed about buying lady products!), that was until Miss Sienna yelled at me – ”Don’t forget your big nappies Mum!”

    I. Was. Mortified.
    Luckily everyone else found it funny!

  11. melanie w says:

    I was 12 also at my nannas for school holidays she has an old house with an outdoor toilet needless to say i was less than impressed.

  12. LisaW says:

    Great giveaway Kellie! Guess I need to divulge…

    I remember that first day very very clearly…I was 13.5 yo. My parents had gone away for the weekend and my sister and I were being looked after by my Aunty. We were at softball, and I was wearing white shorts…of course! My sister hit me with a bucket of water while we were playing and to say I was a mess was an understatement. I was covered in dirt anyway, so it wasn’t terribly noticeable (I hope). I didn’t tell my Aunty because I was very embarrassed…I didn’t want her to spread the word.

    I also didn’t tell my mum for three months!! Back in Year 5 we had gone to sex ed together and they informed us of old traditions; one of them was a for a father to throw his daughter a party to celebrate her becoming a woman. Dad laughed and thought that would be a great idea. NOT!! I didn’t want a party, so decided not to tell them. hahaha. I had nothing to use either, and when I finally fessed up, mum declared “is that why we’ve been going through so much toilet paper?”. Oh dear…I was a painfully shy teenager.

  13. LisaW says:

    oh, forgot to write…when my daughter was two, she walked into the bathroom while I was sorting myself out. She grabbed a tampon from the box and put it inside her nappy! I was horrified!! From that day on, I have banned the kids from the bathroom when Penny comes to town. lol.

  14. Becci Bird says:

    The only thing my Mum told me to prepare for ‘the period’ was that when I start using tampons I will be able to swim (according to the lovely ad that was showing at the time). Well, 30 odd years later and I still can’t swim. Luckily I had big sisters who had very informative magazines, Dolly, Cleo and Cosmo. But I have given my 12 yr old daughter all the info that she needs for that day when it comes, and … she can already swim! My 8 yr old son has a little knowledge about it but prefers not to know at the moment (like most males).

  15. nellbe says:

    I am sure every mum has experienced the bag dumping by a toddler and those pesky white things just seem to keep on rolling…what is even more lovely is when your 6 year old wants to know what you are buying and what are they for mummy? hmmm…. especially since my supermarket has decided to put the womens products in the same aisle as the sunscreens and paracetamol. Oh and the time I was thinking how lovely and patient my toddler was being in the doctors waiting room and that was because he was playing cars with my tampons on the chair next to him…broom, broom.

  16. Alicia says:

    I was in year 7 and thankfully I was at home when it happened. I remember calling my mum from the toilet saying “Oh No! I got my period!” She laughed and then we had ‘the talk’.

  17. Megan says:

    I remember very clearly the day I got my first period. It was year six and I was getting ready for the fancy dress night. I was going as a witch and low and behold the ‘witch’ showed up!

  18. RosieC says:

    11th October 1988 – I was in Yr 6 (the date HAS been stamped into my memory forever!!!) I was at school and my uniform was a pale yellow check – my friends thought I sat in something when I told them days later what had happened. I was soooo embarrassed!

  19. Meagan says:

    I remember getting my periods, they come at the worst possible time whilst we we’re out camping in the middle of no where!!! Poor mum was in a tizzie and we ended having to drive to town for ‘Supplies’. God love her she had to argue with my dad that we had to go and get important supplies as other families were there and she didn’t want to embarrass me by announcing to the whole camp that I had just become a women! In the end we got there tho…lol

  20. Meagan says:

    Have shared on Facebook

  21. Meagan says:

    Have shared on twitter!

  22. Ash m says:

    First time i got them my Mum handed me a pad. My sisters and mother fell around the place laughing as they said I looked like someone who had been riding a horse for a month (I was walking with my legs apart hehe!).

    I have shared on facebook.

  23. Sarah Shelley says:

    Have Shared on Facebook. Thankyou

  24. Sarah Shelley says:

    Have Followed via Twitter. Thankyou

  25. Sarah Shelley says:

    Have Tweeted on Twitter. Thankyou

  26. Sarah Shelley says:

    I remember the first time i got my friends was in year 7. My parents were separated at the time and i lived with my father. Unfortunately my father was brought up in a very closed minded farm family and he was really quite prudish. I really found it hard at the time as i didn’t really have anyone to discuss the situation with including my older sister who lived with my mother at the time. But as humans naturally do, i soldiered on and told my father that i needed some money to buy some extra stationary for school and i then went to the chemist and bought the product that i thought looked the prettiest and most appealing. Lucky for me it was the perfect fit so to speak and i lived happily ever after.

  27. Linda Courtney says:

    I was probably quite lucky and didn’t get mine till I was nearly 14. But I entered womanhood at my friends party. So embarrassing.

  28. Linda Courtney says:

    I have shared on facebook. 🙂

  29. One month before I turned 15. It was summer time & school holidays. My first period had arrived overnight and that very morning we were off to the waterslides for the day. So it was straight onto tampons for me!

  30. Stephanie Young says:

    Year six camp to Talabudgera! Horror, I didn’t even know I have my period. Until I stepped out of the surf in my WHITE shorty board shorts, All my class mates went pale thinking I’d been attacked by something, The teachers had to call an immediate meeting of how to explain this to the other students on the 3 km HIKE back to our camping ground! I walked at the very back of the group that day, Wrapped in my now blood covered white towel too! I will NEVER forget it, The day “I came into womanhood” *lets never speak of this again lol*

  31. Stephanie Young says:

    Shared also

  32. catherine oquist says:

    Arrived home having collected my in-laws from airport for Christmas celebrations, and discovered that my twin daughters [then aged 3] had found a packet of tampons in my bedroom and hung them individually by their string tails on the Christmas tree they were busily decorating…….. and their father had not noticed what they were doing…… he was supervising them but was engrossed in watching television….. and just murmured “That’s very nice” comments when the children asked him what he thought of their Christmas tree masterpiece

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