IF YOU’RE male and hoping to catch a laugh from The Bloke in The Shed, may I suggest you visit his page. This post really isn’t for your eyes.
SINCE the day I first hit “womanhood’’, life has been fraught with embarrassing moments.
If you’re a male and still reading, let me just say: this is secret women’s business. Umm… how can I put it? It’s about menstruation. No, not mentalstration. That’s what happens to my daughter when she picks her nose with too much vigour. I’m talking… periods. Yes, we’ll see you later then.
My first red-faced encounter was during the end of Grade 6 summer holidays at Nan and Pops. Yes, you can probably already see where this is going. I went a whiter shade of pale when I first discovered that spot of red and had to lie down. On checking an hour later to see if it was just a figment of my imagination, I discovered more of the stuff. I was horrified, mortified, terrified. Terrified? Well, there was the little task of now having to tell Nan.
“Oh duck, you’ve probably just got a touch of piles,’’ Nan said. Yes Nan, of course, because I sit on cold cement all the time and no, I’m not of “that age’’. Really! At bath time, she revisited the subject. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Pop. We’ll see how you go and if we need to we’ll get you some rags’’. What? Rags? What are you talking about? She then left the bathroom and made a beeline straight for Pop to announce how I’d “just become a woman’’. Let’s just say I didn’t look Pop in the eye for a few days afterwards.
More embarrassing moments ensued during the following year.
- Like the time “my monthlies’’ went unnoticed by me but was visible by everyone else in Grade 7 as I walked around in my white and light blue school uniform.
- The time I didn’t want to participate in the school swimming carnival and told the teacher I didn’t know how to use tampons. She proceeded to try and explain it to me. Ewww.
- Then there was the moment Ella decided to empty the contents of my handbag all over the shop floor, pick up the tampons and ask “what are these, Mum?’’, while onlookers tried to divert their eyes.
- My biggest concern now is wondering how I’m going to deal with the day my two girls come to me with the words “I’m bleeding’’ and this time a Wiggles bandaid just won’t cut it!
Where was Miss De Jour through all this? Well, Miss De Jour, an Australian company solely owned by an Aussie woman, is going to be there for one lucky reader by giving away a year’s supply of tampons. You have to admit, looking at her design, she’s made tampons you’d be proud to show off. Sassy, or what? In fact, she said she “thought that tampon packaging 12 years ago was very florally, very Laura Ashley and thought, `wow what happens if I ‘Calvin Klein’ the tampon market?’’’ You can find Miss De Jour on Facebook and Twitter.
To go in the draw to win a year’s supply of Miss De Jour tampons, tell me either the moment you discovered you had entered “womanhood” or an embarrassing moment dealing with your “P plates’’. The giveaway closes *EXTENDED DATE* Sunday, June 19 at 7pm and a winner will be drawn randomly and announced on this blog and via Facebook and Twitter. Australian residents only.
Are you game to try for more entries? Then here’s how you can up your chances in the draw. Each task is worth one extra entry, but must be included as a separate comment (or it won’t count).
- Click the Facebook button below and share this giveaway with your Facebook friends. Then leave a separate comment saying something along the lines of “I’ve shared this on Facebook’’.
- Click the Twitter button below and share this giveaway with your Twitter followers (Twitter handle is @ThreeLil). Then leave a separate comment saying something along the lines of “I’ve shared this on Twitter’’.
**DISCLAIMER: I received a year’s supply of Miss De Jour tampons. All opinions expressed are purely my own.
Winner of the 12-month supply of Miss De Jour tampons was:
Meagan. Congratulations Meagan!
Meagan’s (embarrassing) answer was:
I remember getting my periods, they come at the worst possible time whilst we we’re out camping in the middle of no where!!! Poor mum was in a tizzie and we ended having to drive to town for ‘Supplies’. God love her she had to argue with my dad that we had to go and get important supplies as other families were there and she didn’t want to embarrass me by announcing to the whole camp that I had just become a women! In the end we got there tho…lol
Scroll down to the comments to read some more hilarious stories.