Oh Mum, not more spam!

WITHIN a short space of time I’ve amassed a bevy of wonderful, loyal readers. Some just pop in, check that I’m still alive and then go about their day. Sort of like my Nan does with the personal classifieds in the newspaper. Except she’s checking the death notices to see if she’s still alive.

Then there are those who leave warm and fuzzy comments that truly brighten my day or pass on words of wisdom to help me through this parenting maze. It’s the part of the blog I love the most. And you’ll notice, I’m a big one for responding to comments too. I love the whole idea of having a “virtual conversation’’.

Except there’s a few of you I’m having problems with. A few of you who leave comments and I’d rather you didn’t. I’m talking about you Heather. And let’s not forget Kayden, Polly, Roxanna and Marlie. I don’t want you commenting on my blog, even if it’s to say “Touchdown! That’s a really good way of saying it’’. Then there’s Calinda, who kindly said: “I didn’t realise forum rules allowed such brilliant posts’’. I’m gushing, really, but I’d rather you keep your opinion to yourself.

Then there’s Bruce, who keeps telling me about credit loans. I’m fine, thanks Bruce.  Then Debrah (strange spelling, Debrah) who “stands back from the computer in amazement. Thanks!’’. Really, Debrah? And let’s not forget Kayln, who said: “it’s spooky how clever some people are’’. Thanks Kayln. But how about you get a real name and a real job. OK, that was harsh.

To top them all off, there’s Bruce. Bruce told me that what I had written was “a foolish idea’’. And here I was thinking a picture-based `to do’ list for my daughter was pure genius.

The worst part of it all is having to moderate all 100 of you this morning. And then put you straight into the spam folder. So thank you, but no thanks.

What measures do you have in place to combat spam and do they work? What’s been your favourite pearl of wisdom from a spammer, either on your blog, Facebook or Twitter?

Linking up with Where’s My Glow? for FlogYoBlog Friday.

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36 Responses to FEATURE: I’d rather you didn’t all comment on my posts

    • Kel says:

      Thanks Lou. I actually have it downloaded, but haven’t installed it. I think I was turned off by having to pay for it. Might just have to bite the bullet though… 🙂

  1. I no longer have the time to check my spam filter. I use Akismet, but as it catches about 100 spam comments a day I don’t have the time to trawl through and see if it’s accidentally picked up a real comment. And occasionally it does. Just the other day someone contacted me on twitter because all five of their comments had been caught by spam. Nooooo!! But it doesn’t change the fact that I just don’t have time to check it.

    • Kel says:

      That’s interesting to know, Zoey. I’ll try and keep an eye on my spam folder. But, like you, time is at a premium.
      Mind you, having Akismet installed in the first place will save more time than actually sitting here deleting all the spam! My goodness, the last few days have been ridiculous! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Toni says:

    I don’t even have the captcha thing active, and I get only one or two spam comments every couple of days.
    I do have comment moderation for posts older than a month, I think, so I have to approve those myself (and they’re usually spam)

    I guess the more popular you get, the bigger problem this becomes.

    • Kel says:

      I like the idea of comment moderation for posts older than a month, Toni. That’s great. The problems been getting progressively worse over the past few weeks. It’s to the point that I’m spending more time on spam than I am writing blog posts!! Aarrgghh!

  3. CaZ says:

    Princess Kellie you crack me up :O) I too have experience with these dodo heads and use Akismet. (You don’t actually have to pay unless it’s for business use). I accidently turned it off last week and got 100ish spams comments in a day. I was horrified. And Bruce – well yes – he’s just rude! (they are all terrible typers as well – always full of typos!!)

    • Kel says:

      Dodo heads is right, Caz! I could think of a lot of other names too. LOL!
      Unfortunately, I’ve already paid. Bummer! Oh well, a nice donation for the people who come up with such a genius plugin!!!
      I’m laughing at your comment about the typing too. It’s definitely atrocious!! 😉

  4. Ah yes, we get these. I have to say I am a little crushed to discover the standing back from the keyboard in amazement isn’t only for me, but I will get over it.
    We’ve got Askimet on, too, but as previously mentioned it sometimes does catch legit comments.

    • Kel says:

      LOL!! So sorry to crush your spirit, Becky. But alas, it’s not just your stellar writing which has such an incredible effect on spammers. It seems we’re both making them stand back in amazement! hehe!! 😉
      And thanks for letting me know about it catching some of your legit comments too. Will keep my eye on it!

  5. Carly says:

    Tehehehe, Kel when I read the header in FB and then started reading the post, I thought either you were completely serious! Perhaps having a cranky pants moment, or you seriously had horrible people writing not very nice things on your blog…. yes the penny takes a long LONG time to drop over here!
    I love your wit and the way you write, you always make me chuckle even when addressing a very valid and frustrating problem. “Touchdown!”
    P.S Oh and Picture-based `to do’ list IS pure genius xx

    • Kel says:

      Glad I could make you laugh, Carly!! I must say, your response has had me chuckling too. You’ve got to love a “Touchdown”. It feels so much like Mark Holden. Maybe he’s my spammer in disguise?? LOL! 😉

  6. Selin @ hip says:

    Omg I use to receive ” what a great info” or “bookmare your blog thanks ” til I installed Akismet

  7. Naomi Ellis says:

    I have not checked my spam comments for a long time. I think I need to just to have a laugh this morning. Too funny Kellie! N x

  8. Nathalie says:

    I was working away and decided to read the posts I get delivered into my email, you are the winner today for making me laugh so loudly. x

  9. Janet says:

    Ba ha ha ha ha ha … thanks for the giggle. I really enjoyed the laugh! (And no – this isn’t one of those warm and fuzzy comments left by spammers …)

  10. I feel a wee bit left out that the spam gods don’t deign to follow my blog – yet they happily email me all the time, to helpfully but urgently advise that a close relative who I’ve never met and is not linked to me by any DNA, has recently passed and wants to leave me squillions of british pounds. At least I get the profitable spam, right? Anyway, when my squillions finally hit my bank account, I will buy you the world’s best spam filter. Promise. Any day now. As soon as all my dear deceased unknown relatives’ amassed fortunes hit my account.

    • Kel says:

      That sounds fabulous, PP! My psychic powers are predicting it’s in your near future! Can’t wait…. And let’s hope the exchange rate is good!! 😉

  11. At least your spam is mostly nice; mine is all ‘your site doesn’t work on my iPhone4’, ‘you don’t have enough followers because your blog isn’t optimised’, and ‘your penis isn’t big enough’. Lucky I’ve developed thick skin…

    • Kel says:

      Lucky indeed, Tenille. Also lucky you’re female or that last comment could have cut deep!! LOL!! Happy to send some of my more positive spammers you’re way if you’re interested!!! hehe! 😉

  12. Like Parental Parody I’m feeling a little left out, must be because I’m just a blogspot blogger! T’is a hard life when you’re not a dot com!
    (Popping over from FYBF)

  13. Jess Newman says:

    I’m confused! I haven’t had any spam (touch wood), but how do you know it’s spam and not just someone being nice?
    Apart from the obvious credit loans of course.

    Now I’m double guessing all my comments! Maybe people don’t really like me?! 🙂

    • Kel says:

      LOL! I’m sure they all love you, Jess!
      The quickest way I check to see if it’s spam is to look at their email address and web address. Often the web address is google.com or similar and the email is just plain nonsensical! Sounds like blogspot blogs are safe from a lot of the spam though! Lucky thing! 🙂

  14. Jess Newman says:

    Now I’m really confused. I just posted a comment about being confused as I’ve never had an spam comments, and it’s dissappeared! Maybe I’m spam now?

    What I was asking is, how do you actually know? Apart from the obvious line of credit thing.

    • Kel says:

      Haha! You won’t believe it, Jess, but because I’ve now got Akismet activated it threw you straight into the spam folder! Lucky I’m checking it regularly. A little ironic, really!! LOL! 😉

  15. I use askimet too and had about 50 of “those” comments, must admit it did make me giggle reading some of them, then they were all deleted.

  16. m.e (cathie) says:

    i had to giggle at this post.
    thankfully I don’t get spam like that..not yet, just lottery wins from the UK so far..yippeee

    • Kel says:

      You’ve got to love a lottery win, Cathie. I’ve had quite a few of those too. Although, I think the money must be getting lost in the post somewhere… 😉

  17. I’m still sort of new to all this, so I’m absolutely trilled when someone does comment. In fact, i stand back in amazement from my keyboard when there is a comment.
    Visiting from FYBF
    J x

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