IT IS with (dis)honour I accepted the award for Worst Parent of the Week. At the awards ceremony, I donned a beautiful blue pair of trackies, gorgeous white tracksuit top with Bolognese stain on the front and a dainty little pair of tan-coloured ugg boots with scuffed toes.
Today, I’d like to share my acceptance speech for the award and share the “Things I Know’’:
Thank you. Thank you. Please, you can all sit down now. I accept this, the Worst Parent of the Week award. Firstly, I’d like to thank my total negligence. If not for that one moment of distraction this week and my fast-paced eight-month-old daughter, Baby Holly, slipping through my arms and falling off my bed onto the floor, I wouldn’t be here tonight.
There were tears. Mainly from me. And The Bloke in The Shed – who was on the other end of the phone at the time of the accident. That was the “distraction’’ part. If he didn’t have hearing problems before, he certainly does now. This is aside from the selective hearing, which miraculously appeared about 18 months into our relationship.
I know the guilt I felt at the moment she hit the floor has yet to leave me. I know this will not be the last time I will feel this guilt, nor see her tears. I know that there’s a reason the progress we were making on her saying the word “mum’’ has now stagnated. I know that I’m sure to receive this award again – although I’d rather not. So thank you. I know that I deserve this award as a reminder to be a better parent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find a toilet cubicle to have a little cry – it has free “tissues’’.
I’m linking up with Shae from Yay For Home‘s Things I Know meme.