TASMANIAN-born Crown Princess Mary may have not long given birth to twins, but this fellow Taswegian is more excited about giving life to her own li’l project – this blog (coincidentally, about my two beautiful princesses).
We may have been born in the same State, but there’s more than a few differences between my life and the woman who’s living the storybook fairytale (or nightmare, depending on which magazine you read). Our differences? Mainly the money, maids … and manners!
But what we do have in common, according to all reports, is boobie juice. As I read about Mary doing the football hold with her unnamed prince and princess, this most humbling thought makes me wonder what young Princess Isabella makes of it all.
My “two girls” (read: boobs) are a fascinating concept for my own Princess Ella, incidentally the same age as Isabella – three. My princess has decided breast isn’t best. Well, not for her ‘’baby’’.
To begin with, Ella was mesmerized by me breastfeeding Baby Holly. The child carer did a double take after catching Ella sitting in the corner of the room, her top pulled up, chest puffed out, feeding a doll. Later, the same child carer asked her what mummy fed Baby Holly. Rather than the obvious – milk – she replied: ‘’her boobies’’.
I asked her the same question again a few days later. ‘’Your big boobies,’’ was her reply. Hmm, heaven help me if that’s the answer she actually gave the child carer.
The next instalment in the milk tanker saga, after numerous attempts to feed everyone from Jemima rag doll to Astra the Cabbage Patch Doll, was expressing. While I’ve got the Avent pumping like a dairy farmer at 6am, Ella has the kitchen gadget which seals corks back into wine bottles on her own boob. And she’s pumping like her life depends on it. After a few minutes, she stops and looks up disappointed. ‘’Oh no, mum, I mustn’t have any milk left’’.
The look on her face is one akin to discovering the ice cream is all gone. She’s deflated. Well, not literally – she had nothing in there to start with. Since then, it’s been strictly a bottle for her Cabbage Patch.
It just goes to show how much kids are influenced by what they see and hear (mental note: don’t use rude words when she decides to draw a Van Gogh on the suede lounge). So what sort of influences do you think Princess Isabella has? ‘’Pardon me maid, but would you mind ever so kindly as to pop those two dolls under my arms. It’s time to do the Buddy Franklin.’’
OK, so, time to spill. What have you ‘’accidentally’’ taught your little cherubs?