Breast or bottle?

TASMANIAN-born Crown Princess Mary may have not long given birth to twins, but this fellow Taswegian is more excited about giving life to her own li’l project – this blog (coincidentally, about my two beautiful princesses).

We may have been born in the same State, but there’s more than a few differences between my life and the woman who’s living the storybook fairytale (or nightmare, depending on which magazine you read). Our differences? Mainly the money, maids … and manners!

But what we do have in common, according to all reports, is boobie juice. As I read about Mary doing the football hold with her unnamed prince and princess, this most humbling thought makes me wonder what young Princess Isabella makes of it all.

My “two girls” (read:  boobs) are a fascinating concept for my own Princess Ella, incidentally the same age as Isabella – three. My princess has decided breast isn’t best. Well, not for her ‘’baby’’.

To begin with, Ella was mesmerized by me breastfeeding Baby Holly. The child carer did a double take after catching Ella sitting in the corner of the room, her top pulled up, chest puffed out, feeding a doll. Later, the same child carer asked her what mummy fed Baby Holly. Rather than the obvious – milk – she replied: ‘’her boobies’’.

I asked her the same question again a few days later. ‘’Your big boobies,’’ was her reply. Hmm, heaven help me if that’s the answer she actually gave the child carer.

The next instalment in the milk tanker saga, after numerous attempts to feed everyone from Jemima rag doll to Astra the Cabbage Patch Doll, was expressing. While I’ve got the Avent pumping like a dairy farmer at 6am, Ella has the kitchen gadget which seals corks back into wine bottles on her own boob. And she’s pumping like her life depends on it. After a few minutes, she stops and looks up disappointed. ‘’Oh no, mum, I mustn’t have any milk left’’.

The look on her face is one akin to discovering the ice cream is all gone. She’s deflated. Well, not literally – she had nothing in there to start with. Since then, it’s been strictly a bottle for her Cabbage Patch.

It just goes to show how much kids are influenced by what they see and hear (mental note: don’t use rude words when she decides to draw a Van Gogh on the suede lounge). So what sort of influences do you think Princess Isabella has? ‘’Pardon me maid, but would you mind ever so kindly as to pop those two dolls under my arms. It’s time to do the Buddy Franklin.’’

OK, so, time to spill. What have you ‘’accidentally’’ taught your little cherubs?

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19 Responses to Tasmanian princesses drink from same boob.. er, cup

  1. JANE says:

    Love this. More please!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Donna Seen says:

    Loved it! What an enjoyable read – I’m glad I saw this pop up in my newsfeed on FB.

    I had similar experiences with my then 2 year old after Alyssa was born (except my then 2yo is a boy). But we also had him poking things on her feet (when she was born she was gravely ill in hospital having her blood sugar heel pricks done every two hours for the first few months of her life. I’m just thankfully he didn’t try and copy her and stick things down up his nose to match her naso-gastric tube 🙂

    But I shall definitely be reading this more – very enjoyable 🙂

  3. Veronica says:

    I taught both of mine how to swear. Whoops. And then I taught them not to – now Amy, my 4yo, yells at us if we say anything remotely sweary.

    I’ve probably taught them all kinds of things that they shouldn’t know. Parenting is hard!

    re: boobs, my son weaned himself at 13 months and now, at just 2, he’s rediscovered my boobs. He spends all his time either pulling down my top to check them out, or thrusting freezing cold hands into my clevage. Silly boy.

  4. So cute. I have taught my 13 month old to be bossy. Oops. She has this thing where she tells people off if they do something she doesn’t like. How embarrassing.

  5. Nicole says:

    Hahahaha hilarious. I’m from Tassie too. Also a milk maid 🙂

  6. Katie says:

    Oh wow, like little sponges aren’t they?!
    I think I’ve taught my 16 month old to be a strong willed crazy-girl. And to sing along with the ads on TV, oops!
    (Visiting from the rewind :))

  7. Penny says:

    Also taught 3YO to swear, then tauight him the concept of Mummy Words and how NO ONE else can say them. And taught 3YO to stay away from Mummy’s wine glass on a Friday night. Very important. 😉 (visiting via rewind today). P

  8. MultipleMum says:

    Between you and me we have Princess Mary covered! My bigger boys often breastfed their dolls/teddies while I fed the twins! Thankfully not often in public!! I have accidentally taught my children to make up silly words for things. ANyone know what a schlonk is? or a bomstickerelli? Thanks for Rewinding x

  9. Photographer-Mum says:

    I have taught my kids many things, unfortunately not all of them good. A few swear words have been known to escape from their little mouths which is a bit of a slap in the face. But my favourite one at the moment was teaching my youngest (18 months) to say “I love you” – it comes out as “lul-loo”, too cute.

    • Kel says:

      Awww, that is just too cute. I can’t wait ’til the youngest starts saying “I love you”. Or even “mum” for that matter! 😉
      We get “I love you” quite regularly from the oldest princess and it makes my heart melt. 🙂

  10. […] stay. (Yes, I can hear you all groaning). However, by coincidence, there seems to be a bit of a Crown Princess Mary theme in my life – Tasmania, a classic style, princesses, marrying a prince and living in palaces. OK, maybe not […]

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