OUR parenting style is a mish mash of techniques from the thousands of parenting books we own. Did we really need that many? Part of it is positive reinforcement. We praise good behaviour and (try to) ignore bad behaviour.
So when I read that Naomi from Seven Cherub’s Cherish Your Cherubs project this week was to “praise’’, it seemed a pretty simple task for me. This week’s task is a follow on from Week 1: Record, Week 2: Remember and Week 3: Interview.
Our weekend was spent in Hobart, primarily to attend a wedding. Here are some of the highlights of Princess Ella’s good behaviour and reasons to praise:
- We went shopping on Friday and Ella patiently waited the five minutes until the Cat and Fiddle Arcade clock began to play. After her little happy dance, I gave her Praise: “Well done for being so patient, darling.’’
- We then happened upon a David Hamilton puppet show. We had to wait 15 minutes until it began. Ella sat near the front of the stage and, again, patiently waited. She even befriended another little girl and offered her one of her stickers. Apparently, “she said she didn’t want a sticker’’. Praise: “That was such a lovely thing to want to share your stickers with someone else. I’m so proud of you.’’ (She even got an ice cream for being super special).
- Saturday morning we walked through Salamanca Market with friends, followed by the littlies taking turns blowing bubbles in the park. They also picked tulips from the public garden. Whatever you do, don’t tell the Hobart council gardener. Praise: “You played so wonderfully with your friends.’’
- Saturday afternoon was the wedding. Ella sat quietly with her auntie during the entire ceremony. Apart from the “why is he crying?’’ when the groom made his vowels and the “I’m an O’Brien too, aren’t I?’’ when the celebrant asked us to “welcome the new Mr and Mrs O’Brien’’. Praise: “Good girl for sitting quietly during the wedding. You did a great job.’’
- That night and the next morning, Ella got to spend time with her auntie, uncle and teenage cousins at the hotel. When the two female cousins spotted Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation team captain and comedian Josh Thomas, Ella helped their cause of attracting his attention by yelling out: “hello?’’. It’s fair to say, her cousins turned a little pink in the cheeks after that effort. Praise: “Teeheehee.’’
I might add that, due to being so overtired when we got home, her night last night didn’t end well. Usually we have lovely books, songs, a couple of jokes and the all-important kisses and cuddles before she lies her head down. Last night, it ended with a simple “I love you’’ from me and lots of crying from her. It’s pretty rare for this to happen in our house, but just goes to show we can’t win `em all.
What have you praised your child for today?
Your very blessed Kel – But then a very wise lady ( My Nanna) Once said to me “Good Children don’t happen by accident ” So – Maybe your not JUST blessed, but also a wonderful parent =)
Aww, thanks Elisha. A very wise woman that Nanna of yours. x
It’s amazing what positive reinforcement can do. Ella is so well adjusted because you find it so easy. Well done!
Thanks so much for that, Laney. We do try our best! x
Such a good girl to sit through an entire wedding! Gotta love it when they are little angels when there is an audience. x
Hehe!! Too true, Nee. I think there was just so much going on around her, it kept her attention for the entire ceremony. Thank goodness! x
Hey, an “I love you” when the child is screaming blue bloody murder is no mean feat! Sounds like she’d spent all her energy behaving so well through the day that she had nothing left for going to bed easily, poor darling!
Hehe!! That’s pretty much right, Sif. I think having travelled four hours home that day didn’t help. She was just so overtired.That never helps the situation!!! 😉
I praised my flatmate. She’s like a child some days! 🙂
LOL!! Love that, Fiona. 😉
This is just awesome. Love your examples and love that you praised her for such good behaviour. Totally deserved of course – what a great girl dealing so well with waiting patiently for events to happen. Great work my friend. Thanks so much for linking up. N x
Thanks Naomi. It’s always worrying when you head away for a weekend how they’re going to react to it. But mostly, Ella was pretty good. Lots of things happening around her and people to meet to keep her entertained! x
I praised Frog (2.5) for trying to go to the potty, even though she usually wees after she gets up to tell me she is sitting on the potty! PRAISE “Well done for trying to do wees on the potty! You will be good at it soon!”
And Tiger for filling in her school diary properly, handing me all notes on time, and finishing all school work on time last week, after a nightmare few weeks beforehand when she seemed to not do anything at all. PRAISE ” Great job staying on task and finishing your work. I see your diary is all filled in too. You have earned your class cash (reward stuff) this week!” I also let her have her Zhu Zhu pet back, after having to impound it due to her lack of efort.
I find it easy to praise, but I do overbalance it with criticism sometimes. A reminder to praise is always welcome 🙂
So true, Natalie. I think criticism can sometimes come quite naturally to us, but praise seems to take that little bit of effort. Frog and Tiger’s tasks are certainly praise-worthy.
Your potty story is bringing back memories. Praise was well used by us during that period!! Good luck with it. xx
Sounds like she hs a pretty wonderful mummy. I hope her mummy gives herself some praise too.
Aww, thanks so much, Amy. That’s really lovely of you to say. xx
What an amazing weekend your little cherub had! I am amazed that she waited so long for the show to start, and did so well in the wedding! For a little girl to sit that long, she sure needs the praise. I think my boys would have lasted two minutes!!
The tears sounded like tired tears! At least she had a good weekend!
Cheers
Lisa
Yes, they were definitely tired tears, Lisa. it was a rather big weekend. I think there was just so much happening around her to keep her mind occupied, that there was little time to get bored while waiting. A HUGE bonus!!! LOL! 🙂
It sounds like Ella well deserved all that praise! I praised my older two today at swimming as they didn’t fight, actually listened to their instructor and followed my instructions….wonders will never cease, that effort was definitely worth a lot of positive reinforcement!
Most definitely, Kirsty. Good behaviour while swimming is always worth some extra praise!! x
Aww she sounds like such a good girl. Well done Ella! xxx
Hehe!! Thanks Melanie. She did very well. 🙂
There always is something to give praise for if we look for it. It’s a wonderful way to live.
So true. Life is far more enjoyable when we look at the positives within our life. x