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Tag: Cherish your cherubs

  • Some people don’t deserve kids

    Some people don’t deserve kids

    child in red chair

    By Julian O’Brien

    It was a typically wild winter day in Tassie and no other car was silly enough to be parked in the local playground car park. It was deserted.

    I wasn’t there to play on the swings in the driving rain and freezing wind. No, a recently discovered fetish for running and exercise meant I was spending a rare weekday off, in weather which I’d only seen on crab-fishing reality TV shows from the North Atlantic, by doing a casual 12km run.

    Yet it was not the run that was to cause me concern. Aside from being a launching point for the run that day, this park had a special place for our family and we were regular visitors…. albeit when the weather was a tad better.

    It was only back from my run, which I enjoyed by the way, my mood changed. On returning to the park, I could see another car parked not far from mine. Not that strange. What was strange though was there was a young boy not much older than our Princess Ella running around the play equipment in the Antarctic weather in just a t-shirt and jeans unsupervised.

    The real issue

    As I neared my car I could see a male and two females in the other car and that eased my mind – but only temporarily. Strapping on my seatbelt and looking to reverse, I spied out of the corner of my eye the female passenger lift a bong to her mouth, breathe in and exhale in the car. Well, that explained the “unsupervised” thing.

    I shook my head and continued reversing, but to my horror I watched as the kid ran from the playground and jumped straight into the back seat which only moments before had resembled the set of a Cheech and Chong movie. The driver in the other car started his engine and THEY started to reverse.

    A parent’s values

    Now, I’m no prude and I’ve had my share of “life experiences” but if having children taught me one thing it was I needed to take more responsibility for the sake of the souls I’d chosen to bring into this world. I was livid. I drove slowly out of the car park long enough to block the other car and report the incident and vehicle to a mate in the local police station.

    I took no joy or pleasure from that and there are still days I wonder about that little bloke in that car, hoping to God he is receiving the parenting every kid deserves. Do I feel guilty about what I did? Not on your life.

    What it did reinforce to me was that not everyone views parenting the way myself and Kel do and maybe, just maybe, we have to make a stand in our own communities at times to right that balance.

    What would you have done in the same situation?

  • {The Shed} When your children are chalk and cheese

    {The Shed} When your children are chalk and cheese

    Burnie play centreChalk and cheese, Carlton and Collingwood, wine and water or Ford and Ferrari. It is a pleasure to be the father of two girls who are completely different in personality.  Now I’m not saying one is better than the other. Just different.

    Ella has been daddy’s little girl from the moment she was born four years ago.  Again, she and her mum are very close, but – much to mum’s disgust – Ella knows she has me wrapped around her little finger and uses that advantage unmercifully.

    Little Holly is another story.  Due to the fact I’ve spent much of her lifetime getting Ella “out of mum’s hair” it has taken Holly and I time to develop the same formidable bond.

    Recently, she has become enormously affectionate – spontaneously wrapping me in bear-like hugs and planting long, wet sloppy kisses on me at will.  Those moments make me deliriously happy.

    What I love about my two “little girls” are their differences.  Perhaps, like many first kids, Ella has been over protected and as a result is a bit of a wuss, scared of any height above my shoulder height and – in the nicest way – a bit of a sook.

    Holly, on the other hand, has no fear.  We played a practical joke on the girls at Easter disguising chocolate as rabbit poo and while Ella looked on in disgust, Holly was filling her face with said “droppings’’.  Typical “second child syndrome”.

    Recently we took both girls to the opening of a new children’s play centre in a city close by and the differences of the girls were on show.  Ella (4 ½) wanted no bar of the big three-humped slide – even with mum or dad.

    Holly (18 months) not only flew down the slide with mum and dad on each occasion, but wanted more and would stage a countdown at the top of the slide: “Eddy, Set, Ghooooo’’.

    Burnie play centre

    You all have read plenty about Ella on this blog.  Holly is her fearless, stubborn, determined, individualistic and contented sibling.

    We love them both as individuals and more importantly (despite the occasional hair-pulling incident) they love each other.

    What sort of relationship do you have with your kids? Are they like chalk and cheese?

  • Floaties, whizzers and swimming pools

    Floaties, whizzers and swimming pools

    THE O’Briens decided to make the most of the beautiful spring weather yesterday and headed out for a picnic and bike ride. To be honest, when it rains nine months of the year and drips off the trees the other three, it doesn’t take much to convince Taswegians it’s shorts and t-shirt weather.

    We headed off to the Bluff (a playground and sheltered family beach area). Princess Ella held my hand, while The Bloke in The Shed cuddled Baby Holly as we searched for a spot to throw down our fetching brown and yellow picnic rug. We’re relishing these moments, knowing in the future they’ll much prefer to walk five feet in front of us and wouldn’t dare sit on “that ugly thing’’.

     

    picnic with seagulls
    Mmm, nice shot of me!

     

    Once we’d all filled our tummies – that included the seagulls Ella decided to feed half her sandwich to – we set off for a bike ride to the lighthouse. Ella walked up to the door and knocked on it, in the hope someone might come and answer.

    She was impressed to hear I’d climbed “100 stairs’’ to reach its top. OK, so I made it sound rather romantic, when in reality it was hot and claustrophobic up there. We then walked, hand in hand, around the base of the lighthouse so she could see how wide it was.

     

    lighthouse
    Walking around the lighthouse with Ella

     

    No bike ride is complete without a little crash, which thankfully this time only required a bit of patting on the knee and a kiss. The rest of the trek was fairly uneventful, if you don’t count Ella making us stop at the soundshell so she could perform a concert. If it wasn’t for the hair, you would have sworn she was Dolly Parton. Well, sort of.

    We ended the day with Holly’s first swim at a private pool. After seeing her earlier with that face – the one of full concentration – there was some trepidation about the swim on my part. I had fears the pool would end up featuring more than just the floaties that were attached to her arms.

     

    mum and baby swimming
    Baby Holly and I swimming… ah, I mean, posing.

     

    Snuggled up to her, we were barely five minutes into our swim when I lost my footing in the deep end and dunked her under, resulting in her drinking half the pool. At 150cms tall, it’s not hard for me to be in the deep end. She then held onto me with a vice-like grip – and me to her. Or maybe it was just the fact she missed out on her usual afternoon top up from the milk tankers. Although, there was no way she was getting a pre-swim drink. Apparently, regurgitated boobie juice is like confetti in a pool.

    Half an hour later, she gained a little more confidence and was happy to go to The Bloke in The Shed for cuddles and a swim, while Ella showered me in kisses while inadvertently pulling me under. Holly’s scared shivers and little frown were replaced with laughter and splashing as they trailed along behind Ella and I who, I might add, kept leaving bright green patches for her sister to swim through.

     

    dad and baby swimming
    A more confident Baby Holly and The Bloke in The Shed

     

    After the usual cuddles and bedtime kisses after their big day, the day ended just as I was about to finish this post last night with Ella experiencing a night terror for the first time since that last episode. Thankfully, some soothing words, stroking of her hair and kiss on her forehead she was back in the land of nod.

    What little acts of affection have you shown your cherubs today?

    Linking up with Naomi from Seven Cherubs for the final in the Cherish Your Cherubs series.

  • Cherish your cherubs: Praise the lord… or the children, at least

    Cherish your cherubs: Praise the lord… or the children, at least

    girl blowing bubblesOUR parenting style is a mish mash of techniques from the thousands of parenting books we own. Did we really need that many? Part of it is positive reinforcement. We praise good behaviour and (try to) ignore bad behaviour.

    So when I read that Naomi from Seven Cherub’s Cherish Your Cherubs project this week was to “praise’’, it seemed a pretty simple task for me. This week’s task is a follow on from Week 1: Record, Week 2: Remember and Week 3: Interview.

    Our weekend was spent in Hobart, primarily to attend a wedding. Here are some of the highlights of Princess Ella’s good behaviour and reasons to praise:

    • We went shopping on Friday and Ella patiently waited the five minutes until the Cat and Fiddle Arcade clock began to play. After her little happy dance, I gave her Praise: “Well done for being so patient, darling.’’
    • We then happened upon a David Hamilton puppet show. We had to wait 15 minutes until it began. Ella sat near the front of the stage and, again, patiently waited. She even befriended another little girl and offered her one of her stickers. Apparently, “she said she didn’t want a sticker’’. Praise: “That was such a lovely thing to want to share your stickers with someone else. I’m so proud of you.’’ (She even got an ice cream for being super special).
    • Saturday morning we walked through Salamanca Market with friends, followed by the littlies taking turns blowing bubbles in the park. They also picked tulips from the public garden. Whatever you do, don’t tell the Hobart council gardener. Praise: “You played so wonderfully with your friends.’’  
    • Saturday afternoon was the wedding. Ella sat quietly with her auntie during the entire ceremony. Apart from the “why is he crying?’’ when the groom made his vowels and the “I’m an O’Brien too, aren’t I?’’ when the celebrant asked us to “welcome the new Mr and Mrs O’Brien’’. Praise: “Good girl for sitting quietly during the wedding. You did a great job.’’
    • That night and the next morning, Ella got to spend time with her auntie, uncle and teenage cousins at the hotel. When the two female cousins spotted Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation team captain and comedian Josh Thomas, Ella helped their cause of attracting his attention by yelling out: “hello?’’. It’s fair to say, her cousins turned a little pink in the cheeks after that effort. Praise: “Teeheehee.’’

    I might add that, due to being so overtired when we got home, her night last night didn’t end well. Usually we have lovely books, songs, a couple of jokes and the all-important kisses and cuddles before she lies her head down. Last night, it ended with a simple “I love you’’ from me and lots of crying from her. It’s pretty rare for this to happen in our house, but just goes to show we can’t win `em all.

    What have you praised your child for today?

  • This journalist’s biggest interview yet

    This journalist’s biggest interview yet

     

    girl smiling looking away
    Getting Princess Ella's attention yesterday for an interview was… challenging.

    WEEK three of Naomi of Seven Cherubs’ Cherish Your Cherubs project is to interview your child/dren. It follows Week 1: Record and Week 2: Remember. My day job, when I’m not wiping bums and faces, is a journalist and PR consultant. So you’d think I’d be OK with this one. Think again.

    I’ve been blessed to chat to all manner of people from big name musicians to TV and film stars and comedians. None of them compare to the diva that is Princess Ella. After discovering the hidden dictaphone, she even went on to demand a rider with orange juice and blue M&Ms. Well, maybe not.

    I had every intention of uploading the audio from my dictaphone for you all to hear, but it took six goes to get the transcript below and I’m sure you don’t want to sit through ALL that. So, here’s the edited version of the interview conducted while overlooking a Father’s Day card she made at childcare (aka “school’’):

    Kel: What was your favourite part of Father’s Day?

    Ella: (screams) The PRESENTS. And the cupcake.

    Kel: Did you know your Dad was named in the top 5 Mentally Sexy Dads today? What do you think about that?

    Ella: (shyly) Good.

    I explain how special it is that others now know what we’ve always known about him. Oh, and that it also now means he’s won a special new Dyson vacuum.

    Ella: (excitement becomes too much) Woohoo!

    Kel: Are you going to use it?

    Ella: Yessssss!! (jumps up and down as if she’s just scored herself a new toy. If only she’d have the same amount of enthusiasm for a vacuum in a few years time).

    Kel: What do you love most about your dad?

    Ella: I love to have kisses with him and cuddles. He’s good at playing Snap and pass the parcel.

    Kel (looking over the Father’s Day cards she made): What’s your favourite colour?

    Ella: (points at the card) That colour, that colour and that colour.

    Kel: Haven’t you been doing colours at school?

    Ella: Yes. (Does Auslan sign language for pink and for purple. This is a good segway into emotions, which she’s also learnt through Auslan)

    Kel: What makes you sad?

    Ella: When I crash on something.

    Kel: What makes you angry?

    Ella: When Daddy talks on the phone and he doesn’t hear me.

    Kel: What makes you happy?

    Ella: When daddy doesn’t talk.

    Kel: What makes you giggle?

    Ella: My party.

    Kel: What party?

    Ella: My party that I had the other day with Nanny and Poppy and Molly. (She means her birthday 10 months ago. Yes, it’s fair to say she’s already counting down the days ’til the next one).

    I hope no one uses this interview as the basis for employing me into the future!

    What funny things do your children say?

  • Cherish your cherubs: The birth story I rarely tell

    Cherish your cherubs: The birth story I rarely tell

    baby smilingWEEK two of Naomi from Seven Cherub’s Cherish Your Cherubs project is to “remember” a moment of your child/ren’s life. Regular readers will be familiar with my From bump to baby in six hours post. This was Ella’s birth story. It was a dream – six hours, no drugs and a huge three-course meal to follow. Ah, the memories.

    However, rarely do I discuss Baby Holly’s birth and I most certainly haven’t recorded it. But I should. Here’s why:

    There’s something about our li’l girls and national sporting events. I sometimes wonder if it’s their first little message to their Dad that they’ll forever keep him on his toes. Princess Ella was due Melbourne Cup Day, but came six days later. Much to The Bloke in The Shed’s relief.

    Baby Holly was due a week after the AFL grand final. That was until his beloved Collingwood Pies and St Kilda ended the big game in a draw – and had to come back for a rematch a week later. “You know what’s going to happen, don’t you?’’ he asked. “She’ll come right in the middle of next week’s grand final and I’ll miss the game.’’ I laughed – because I’d been thinking the exact same thought.

    baby smile

    One week passed. The three of us sat down to watch the big game – again. Well, one of us did. Two of us watched The Fairies. At quarter time, I went off to do what every woman does at this point in a footy game – a whizzer.  However, I got more than I bargained for. “Ahhh, I think she might be on her way,’’ I announced on my return. The Bloke in The Shed’s face turned whiter than my legs at the end of winter. Unless of course some major deforestation needs to take place and then who knows what’s going on down there.

    His panic was partly because, well, the game’s not over yet and Collingwood were a chance. And partly because Ella came in a major rush and apparently these babies get quicker each time. Should we hit the road now? In typical Baby Holly style, she teased us for the rest of the day. Unlike Collingwood, which pulled off a victory and prompted the first of many tears to come from The Bloke in The Shed over the next 24 hours.

    baby's hand

    After lying awake all night, by 5am she was well and truly packing her bag and preparing for her journey. I figured I’d best do the same. I woke The Bloke in The Shed and had mum pedal faster than the Flinstones to come look after Ella, who was still blissfully sleeping.

    At the hospital we settled into a room and then the bath and then… waited. I was constantly asked if I wanted drugs. I obviously looked like I was in a lot of pain. “No, I’m fine,’’ I said. I’d done Ella’s birth drug free, this one should be a piece of cake. Besides, I don’t do drugs. But I will do a pina colada.

    baby smiles

    When nothing continued to happen – or not happen –the decision was made to break my waters to get things moving. Bear in mind, I’d only really been in labour a few hours. I was advised pethidine would be a good idea, so I reluctantly took it. And regreted it. But that’s another post for another day. In just seven hours (I know, really, what was the rush?) Baby Holly was on the cusp of taking her first breath. This birth hadn’t gone as I’d planned and was mostly a blur, but it didn’t matter.

    At that moment, one of the midwives grabbed our camera. Even thinking about that now makes me shudder. A million thoughts ran through my head. The loudest was: No, woman, put that thing away. Please. Unfortunately, the snaps were taken. It was like the paparazzi chasing Paris Hilton, trying for every angle possible. I kept those photos. I have no idea why.

    baby's eyelashes

    Within seconds, those thoughts had gone and instead I was totally focused on the li’l princess in my arms. As far as dried up prunes go, she was gorgeous. The tears from The Bloke in The Shed said it all. While those early moments together – just the three of us – were precious, there was a moment that superseded them all.

    The magic moment, the one I most want to have recorded, is when Ella walked into the room. She burst through the doors, face beaming and, without giving her Dad or I a second glance, squealed: “Where’s Baby Holly?’’. Just like that. She then ran frantically around the room, trying to figure out where she was meant to be going. It had been such a long nine months for her, that the reality of her sister being here was all too much. The look on her little face when she caught sight of her brought me to tears. She was just so overcome with this little person that would now and forever be in her life.

    Sisters

    Nearly 11 months on, that love hasn’t diminished. Constantly I catch them cuddling and kissing each other unprompted. I can’t imagine their lives without each other.

    two sisters cuddling
    Princess Ella and Baby Holly cuddling

    If you have older children, what were their first reactions to seeing their new sibling? What about you – how did you react?