School first dayThis has to be one of the most emotional weeks in motherhood. And sadly it’s only Monday. If only someone warned you it was like this.

Last night was the first time I didn’t even attempt to breastfeed Li’l Holly before bedtime. I couldn’t see the point. It seems her days of boobie juice are now behind her. Give me the real stuff, Mum. I’d be OK with it if it was my decision. With Ella, I chose to start weaning her because I was finding it too difficult balancing it with work. Now, it’s Holly’s decision. And I’m not sure I was fully ready.

Then, this morning, I farewelled my li’l girl as she headed off for her first day at big girl school. She got up at 6.30am, came bounding into the bedroom and asked if she could make her big girl lunch now. One day she’ll pine for those fully cooked childcare lunches again. For now though, a ham and cheese sandwich is just the most exciting thing in the world.

When we arrived, she walked into the classroom and ran straight for the computer. Five minutes later, she was darting for her friends – to tell them all about her sandwiches, probably. There was barely time for a kiss and a goodbye. I guess I should be thankful she has readymade friends due to half her childcare room choosing the same school.

As The Bloke in the Shed, Li’l Holly and I got back in the car, The Bloke asked the one question I hoped he wouldn’t ask: “Are you OK?’’ And then it started.  The tears fell. My heart felt heavy. My li’l girl. She’s all grown up. Fully independent. Gone off to big school. Doing up her own shoes. Organising her own lunch. Wiping her own bum. Well, that’s another story, not likely for the blog.

I can tell you, it’s pretty darn quiet around here today…

How did you cope on your child’s first day of school? I hear it doesn’t get easier either.

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19 Responses to This mothering gig is tough

  1. Lisa Wood says:

    Oh gosh time sure goes by far too quickly! I was ok with our first son going to school because I still had two more at home. It was our last one that I cried over – that meant no more babies at home (ever). He was so ready for school but I was so keen to have him at home.
    Now we homeschool four of our five boys…not sure how I would go if they were to return to school again?
    It would be nice for the break (and to have a warm cup of coffee) but I would sure miss them.

    Enjoy your little one – at least you have her still at home for fun times!
    Lisa Wood recently posted..A Day In The Life of New Life on the RoadMy Profile

  2. Toni says:

    I feel like a meanie because I was DELIGHTED when I finally got all my kids off to school. Mind you, I have been mothering continuously since 1983. I’m tired.
    Toni recently posted..Sunday Selections — a walk in the woodsMy Profile

  3. Mary says:

    Orh Kell, my heart goes out to you. The Bloke in the Shed had no right to ask you such a question (even though its only because you got one of the sensitive ones). Unfortunately it will be much worse with Holly. I couldn’t even go home the day that Emi started school, I wandered around until it was time to collect them, just couldn’t face an empty house! As for wiping “bums” I’m sure the Bloke in the Shed would have some good stories about that, potentially still undergoing counselling!

    • Kel says:

      Yes, I know, Mary. How on earth did I manage the sensitive!!
      I think I’ll be the same with Holly as you were with Emi when she starts school. I’m making the most of every moment with her before that happens. It’s incredible how fast the time has gone though.
      And yes, let’s not start on the bum wiping stories! LOL! 🙂

  4. Caz says:

    They send them so young down there in the Tassie state. Middle pink is 5 and only just started this year. I’m not sure I could do it a 3!!!! No wonder you’re having such a hard time. Litte Pink is only doing 3 yo kinder this year (one morning) and still have 4yo kinder next year (2 days) before we face school. I’m not sure how I’ll go when she starts. That will be HUGE for me. But you are so right – it all happens way to fast!! Hang in there mum – it doesn’t get easier – but you do learn to cope better 🙂
    Caz recently posted..REVIEW & GIVEAWAY: Alchemy cordials. Life is Magic ~ Drink it in. {closes 25/2/12}My Profile

    • Kel says:

      I know, Caz.
      I actually got a teacher to explain the whole Tassie vs the rest of the country situation to me on the weekend. It seems we’re all the same, it’s just the titles we use. So our compulsory Kindergarten is your optional 4 year old kindy (Ella is 4 and goes three days a week. Although, some parents do keep their child back until they turn 5 if they feel they’re not ready). Next year she’ll be in Prep, which is your Kindergarten. Then they’ll all be in Grades 1, 2, 3, etc… together. Does that make sense? So, in effect, all the kids are the same, except we have one extra compulsory year of schooling.
      So confusing! Why we don’t all have the same system is beyond me! 🙂
      I can’t imagine what it will be like for you sending off your last, Caz. I think that will hit me harder than Ella starting. Knowing I’ll be home. Alone… OK, so there are some benefits to that! LOL! 🙂

  5. TinaBNE says:

    I’m not at that stage yet.. but it is very sad not to be breastfeeding anymore =(
    Hope the rest of your week brightens up xx

    • Kel says:

      Thanks Tina. Yes, missing those night time snuggles. I think that was my favourite part of breastfeeding. 🙁
      The rest of the week is turning out to be a good one though! 🙂

  6. Tat says:

    Just when I thought I was over the whole school thing, I had to read your post and now I can’t stop crying again. And it’s week 3 here! I didn’t realise Tasmania had a different system… well, I still haven’t gotten my head around the rest of the Australian system.

    With the breastfeeding – I was the opposite. I was only too happy to let my children wean themselves (mind you they were a bit older by that time and I was well and truly ready), I tried to wean them earlier a few times, but just couldn’t bear taking the breast away from them when they still wanted it (and let me know about it in no uncertain terms).

    I hope your week brightens up. Lots of hugs xx
    Tat recently posted..My heart glows at nightMy Profile

    • Kel says:

      Aww, so sorry, Tat. This whole school thing is pretty tough, isn’t it! We cooked cupcakes this afternoon and Ella just can’t wait to go to school so she can show everyone what’s in her lunch box! I think lunch is the highlight of her day! LOL!
      A week after weaning Holly (or Holly weaning, more like it), it’s like it never happened. She happily trots off to bed without a thought for boobie juice! Mind you, it’s nice to sit down with a glass of wine again at the end of the day!

  7. I have taught kindergarten in nsw and understand what your going through but it’s amazing to see kids thrive at school and you will both get used to this new stage of life very soon.

    On the breastfeeding my little man self-weaned at 16 months and I was so happy that he decided himself. I am due to have baby boy #2 in April and i was worried that I would be feeding them both at the same time so it worked out for the best but it was still sad.
    Julia Kuku Couture Invitations recently posted..Valentine’s Day Lunch for My Little ValentineMy Profile

    • Kel says:

      Oh Julia, Ella is settling in so incredibly well. It’s real peace of mind knowing how much she loves school.
      Wow! I think I would be much the same on the weaning too if I had another coming along (and I don’t, by the way! LOL!). I lost a lot of weight just feeding one at a time. I think I’d fade away to nothing if I fed two at once! Hehe! 🙂

  8. Im upset everytime I stop breastfeeding its one of those very emotional things isnt it!

    Glad Ella loves school! Boy Blue is in his element x
    Mum’s the Word recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Super Mario Bro Fish TankMy Profile

    • Kel says:

      It certainly is, Sarah. You struggle so much in those early days and then when you finally hit a rhythm with it, you just don’t want it to end. At least I still get my cuddles.
      Glad to hear Boy Blue is enjoying school too. I love it when they’re happy to go off to school. It makes our job easier, that’s for sure! 🙂

  9. such a milestone. But such an emotional journey too i am sure. I’m just starting sending Little E to daycare and that is hard enough. So glad to hear the enjoyment and excitement is there 🙂 x
    the parenting files recently posted..Little Colour Fairies – review and giveawayMy Profile

    • Kel says:

      Oh, daycare was tough too. I used to sit in the carpark after I dropped Ella off and just cry! With Holly, being the second child, I was much more relaxed. I think my attitude change meant it wasn’t as distressing for her as it had been for Ella.
      I also should say, I think Ella has coped so well with kindergarten because of childcare. It’s made the transition so much easier.

  10. […] out to dry. Girls, meaning “milk tankers’’. Li’l Holly, at 16 months, was ready to wean herself from breastfeeding. She no longer had interest in my bazookas. Unlike The Bloke in The […]

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