LESSON FOR WIVES No. 5: Big Girls Don’t Cry

I’M PRETTY sure when you are in the process of scolding a three-year-old it is not OK to giggle. Picture the scene: Princess Kel is trying to dish up dinner, I’m cradling a tired and grumpy six-month-old and Princess Ella (the three-year-old) is proceeding to whine at great volume about anything and everything.

Then, Princess Ella erupts into tears because mum won’t put her on the bench (where her sole intent is to dirty the already clean washing up sitting nearby). Kel proceeds to tell her it’s dangerous to sit on the bench by herself. “But I’m a big girl,’’ comes the reply from Ella.

It’s on the end of a frustrated lecture that Princess Kel finishes off with the sentence: “big girls don’t cry’’. There’s an awkward moment of silence, followed by muffled laughter from Kel and I as we clearly both image the falsetto voices of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons launching into the ’60s song of the same name, Big Girls Don’t Cry. If only our lives were a musical.

It got me thinking about other song titles we might find helpful when disciplining our “little angels’’. Here’s a few suggestions:

What’s Going On – Marvin Gaye

Respect – Aretha Franklin

Walk This Way – Aerosmith and Run DMC

You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me – Dusty Springfield

I Fought the Law – Bobby Fuller Four

Fortunate Son – Creedance Cleawater Revival

You Can’t Always Get What You Want – Rolling Stones

Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac

I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt

Voodoo Child – Jimi Hendrix

Any other suggestions?

Read more Lessons for Wives.