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Tag: parenting

The launch of Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves: The Snotty Truth About Motherhood

Today is a pretty significant day in the palace. The long-awaited ebook, Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves: The Snotty Truth About Motherhood, has been released. A tad earlier than expected, but in all honesty I’m just glad to see it finally out there. Kind of like the day Ella was born. I’d had enough of waiting.

For those who don’t know the background, here’s a bit of a timeline:

Mid 2007: I was up the duff and trying to launch a new magazine for The Advocate Newspaper. There’s nothing like a bit of stress when you’re “in the family way’. We needed a column and we needed some content to appeal to mums. The logical answer was to write a funny mummy column about the good, the bad and the ugly of pregnancy. Back then, I had no idea about mummy bloggers. Never heard of the things.

November 2007: Ella was finally born and requests for the column to continue quickly started. So we decided to continue it throughout Ella’s first year of life. Re-reading them, there seems to be an awful lot of discussion about excrement.

November 2008: A year later the column ended, but people’s desire to talk about the column didn’t. We’d get stopped in the street by people wanting to meet “THE Ella’’. Even older men whose children had long left the nest wanted to recount their favourite column. Always awkward when it involved the one where I sneezed eight times and wet my pants. Did I do that?

October 2010: Ella’s little sister Holly was born. With the column still being brought up in conversation at least two to three times a week, it seemed the right time to launch one of those mum blogs I kept hearing about so I could direct them somewhere to keep reading.

January 2011: This blog was born and my discovery of the potential of ebooks began. I started talks with The Advocate Newspaper around the idea of launching the columns into an ebook. Over the course of motherhood, blogging and starting a business, the ebook idea gathered a bit of dust in the “we’ll get there one day’’ trays.

April 2012: Here we are, nearly five years later, finally launching my baby. And it really is like having another baby all over again. At least this time I keep my dignity. Or maybe not. I hope you enjoy it as much the second time around as you did the first. And if this is the first time you’ve read it, I hope it gives you plenty of giggles and head nodding moments. If you see us in the street, please stop us, let us know you read the ebook and say “hi’’ to Ella – she loves the attention. She feels akin to Suri Cruise these days.

Oh, and it seems the support continues. This was what happened on Facebook last night.

Thank you. You have no idea how much those “likes’’ and comments mean to me.

If you’re interested in buying the book, whether as a Mother’s Day gift, for yourself or a friend in need of a good laugh, you can buy it here or click the button below.

Stay tuned for Monday when we start our Virtual Book Tour.

I’m interested to know if you read the columns when they were printed in the paper? Are you planning on reading the ebook?

April 21, 2012
The Parent Manifesto: Book extract

The lovely Jodie Benveniste from Parent Wellbeing is taking over the palace today as part of her week-long Virtual Book Tour for her latest release. I’ve already devoured her two previous books – Full Belly and Little Bundle – and am now enthralled by her The Parent Manifesto: How to create a parenting approach that’s perfect for your family.

***

As a first-time mum, I devoured every book possible on parenting, to the point I became so confused I wasn’t quite sure whether I was laidback Kate Hudson or strict Julia Roberts. According to my acting skills, I’m neither. The fact is, I didn’t trust my instincts enough.

Funnily, the past two weeks I’ve had my head buried in yet another parenting book. The difference is this one doesn’t tell me what to do. Instead Jodie has put together a nurturing and encouraging step-by-step style book that empowers mums and dads to create a parenting approach that’s perfect for their family. I mean, seriously, nobody else is quite like The O’Briens.

It doesn’t matter what age your children are, anyone can put themselves back in control by using the tools Jodie provides. The AAA Parenting Tool is my fave. And no, it has nothing to do with using batteries. We’re now creating our own little O’Brien Parent Blueprint.

***

Here’s an extract from the book which particularly resonated with me:

This is what I value, this is what I believe

Not so long ago, I had a major meltdown

I was de-motivated about my work and I felt uncertain and unsure. This was confronting because I’m normally highly motivated, goal orientated, and very sure about what I want to achieve.

But I was forced to stop everything, sit back, reflect and make some decisions. Difficult decisions.

This process involved a number of stages.

Firstly, I had a major freak out. The freak out was the warning sign that my life wans’t how it should be. Freaking out wasn’t a pleasant experience, but, as I later realised, it was necessary.

Secondly, I went through a stage of feeling incredulous. I didn’t believe there was anything wrong with my life. What could possibly be wrong? THERE IS NOTHING, I REPEAT, NOTHING WRONG! But there obviously was.

Stage three involved avoidance. I wasn’t motivated to work hard so I created distractions like reading and re-reading the Twilight books. It was enjoyable and indulgent, but only for a while.

It was time to face facts. I realised that working too many hours and putting too much pressure on myself at work and at home was not sustainable. I had to be honest. I had to get real.

Next, I spent time reflecting on what was important to me. I asked myself some tough questions and really listened to my gut. Why was I working so hard? For what end? Who was benefiting? Me? My family? Is there another way to do this? How can I make this better?

Then, I made some difficult decisions. They included selling my corporate business to focus on Parenting Wellbeing, and scaling back my working hours so I didn’t miss out on my kids.

Finally, I moved onto a happier stage where I felt physically healthier and more fulfilled. I was still working hard on my business but in a smarter and more sustainable way and I had more energy and emotional capacity for my family.

Turing a meltdown into a valuable learning experience involved me assessing my values and beliefs.

***

Jodie is also running a new 12 week Parent Manifesto program

AND

a free webinar next week:

Parenting enemy #1: Everyone else knows best (or do they?) During the webinar I’ll be providing valuable information such as:

· The 5 parenting pressures that are keeping us from having a great family life

· The top 5 things that parents really want

· The 3 things kids really need from us as parents

· How one parent overcame her struggle with dealing with others’ opinions about her parenting (including her own mum’s)

· How you can separate helpful and unhelpful parenting advice, and parent a little more confidently

It will take place at 8pm AEST time on Thursday, 26th April. Visist: https://www4.gotomeeting.com/register/787159231

So, what was the worst piece of parenting advice you received? And what was the best advice you were given?

April 19, 2012
When Ella’s view of the world suddenly changes

The call I’ve been dreading for the past six months came through this afternoon. “You can pick up the prescription when you’re ready.’’ To be honest, I think I’ll be ready the day Karl Stefanovic wins a Gold Logie. While my little issue is pretty insignificant in the scheme of what some of you deal with on a daily basis, it still didn’t stop a little tear today. OK, so maybe it was full on, snotty nosed sobbing.

While there’s great relief in knowing Princess Ella won’t ever look like this:

(Yep, don’t you just feel sorry for that kid… Ahem) she will have to go tomorrow and pick out her first pair of glasses. She wants purple ones. We could be unveiling the modern-day version of Esme Watson come 3.30pm.

Since heading to the opthamologist last week for the follow up appointment, I’ve been trying to ignore the idea of her two eyes multiplying. If you don’t know the back story of the mad rollercoaster ride we’ve been on with Ella needing and then not needing glasses, then brace yourself for the full story here.

However, the clincher, and the reason I’m now quickly getting over my hang-ups with her wearing glasses, is that as if her eyes overcompensate her slight vision impairment there’s a chance the eye could turn in. This is me.

Source: cbsnews.com via Jacqui on Pinterest

Well, not that photo exactly, but I do have a lazy eye that will never be straight without glasses or contact lenses. I’d never forgive myself if my petty reasons for not wanting her to have glasses caused this.

Thankfully, Ella doesn’t give two hoots about my concerns. She even said to her Dad tonight: “Yay! I’m getting glasses, Dad. Mum’s really sad about it. Are you?’’ The combination of not needing “raindrops’’ at last week’s appointment– her term for eye drops – and running into a friend with glasses in the waiting room, has made her super keen to sport specs. All the cool kids are wearing them, it seems.

“I loved having the little windows on my eyes, Mum’’, she said after the opthamologist put lenses over her eyes to check her vision. Apparently, the “windows’’ made everything look brighter. As long as she doesn’t think she gets to hold up little lenses to her eyes all day. That could make going to the toilet difficult.

As for me? I just need to get over it!

So tomorrow afternoon we’re going shopping! Any tips for buying glasses for children? Are there things I should be aware of?

March 19, 2012
When did being a mum become so complicated?

At what point did parenting become more complex than a Rubiks Cube after someone’s tampered with the stickers? Sorry, that was usually me. A week or so back I saw Kochie (of Sunrise fame) tweet:

Gee Poppy, dates to park are complicated… Sunscreen, hats, drinks, snacks, spare nappy, clean clothes. Was it always this complicated?

It’s one of the reasons I’m happier sitting on the couch watching the princesses slide down the indoor slide. Now to figure out how to get a swing set through the door.

A fellow mum and I were discussing the “old days’’, when you were brought up by your mum, your nan, your aunties and half the neighbourhood who, really, just told you to “go outside and play’’. What exactly were all those women doing inside, anyway? They certainly weren’t on Facebook.

Nowadays, we mums do much of the parenting role alone (unless you struck gold in the partner stakes). We sometimes also work or run businesses, we juggle five social media accounts and still manage to declutter every inch of our homes.

We put added pressure on ourselves that our children’s Pumpkin Patch outfit stays clean, that their hands are constantly sterilised, they’re fed wholesome meals made from scratch (well, the packet says “homemade’’. Or is that “HomeBrand’’?) and their ponytail sits at a 45 degree angle from the top most point of the head. You do that, right?

What happened to sending them out in the same pair of clothes they wore yesterday? Letting them eat a little dirt, along with some extra protein goodness via a worm or two? Why can’t their hair look more akin to a member of Rolling Stones than Justin Beiber?

I think as parents, we’re our own worst enemies. Sure, keep our kids safe with sunscreen, boundaries in which to play and curfews. But do we go overboard when it comes to letting them be kids? Aren’t kids meant to have faces full of snot, dirt on their knees and a nappy showing off their plumber’s crack?

Are our kids just too… perfectly pampered? Should we get rid of this notion of the perfect parent and cut ourselves some slack? The important thing, after all, is that our kids are healthy and happy. Right?

What do you think? Is parenting getting far more complicated? And who’s to blame? *runs away quickly*

March 16, 2012
A sneak peek at the soon-to-be-released ebook

Yes, you read right. I’m giving you a little sneak peek inside the long awaited ebook from my popular newspaper column, Mum’s the Word. The ebook will be released in conjunction with Fairfax’s The Advocate Newspaper in Tasmania.

To get you all up to speed, back when I first became up the duff with Princess Ella, I began writing what was a light-hearted and humorous look at having a bun in the oven. Once Ella was born, readers requested it continue and so the columns went on to document the first year of her life – the good, the bad and the down-right hilarious.

The series was read by a readership of 90,000, yet many of my readers here on the blog know little about it. So this is my chance to share that story with you. But the real reason? Four years on, The Bloke in The Shed and I receive comments weekly about that column -what parts they could relate to, what made them laugh and what was happening in their child’s life at the time. Can I add, a large number of these are middle-aged men. No joke.

One of the reasons for introducing you to this just before it’s released is because we’re on the hunt for the best title for the book. Whoever can come up with the title that wins our hearts – and maybe even makes us laugh – will score a credit in the book!

Here’s the first column in the book for a bit of inspiration:

Nauseous, patronised and fat — but happy

August 15, 2007

PEOPLE ask ‘‘how are you feeling?’’ like I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I’m just up the duff, for Pete’s sake. And if it is a disease, for me at least, it wasn’t that easy to catch — despite the warnings.

What you don’t learn — until now — is that there’s this minute window of ovulation each month, which will have you running to the bedroom faster than a cheetah chasing a limping gazelle. Sorry, nan. Perhaps you better go and make that cup of tea now.

Now, there’s some tragics — who shall remain nameless — who try to help the little blighters in their swimming endeavours by raising their legs in the air after ‘‘the deed’’. Come on. We all know it’s easier to swim with the current, not against it.

Mind you, the other theory is that you only want the toughest swimmers, not some measly little tadpole that got through on a free ticket. Just because Steven Bradbury won a gold medal, it doesn’t make him a legend.

If you want to get technical, you can go into the whole lunar moon thing, which gives you a second crack each month at scoring. But, in the end, the mission was achieved and no, it’s no disease.

Unless you count the first four months, where I felt like I’d been on the biggest New Year’s Eve bender —just the spewy end of the bender, minus the high. Plus, I look like I haven’t slept for a month after stumbling from my slumber for a leak for the third time in one night and being kicked awake in-between.

My tummy looks like I’ve indulged in Christmas lunch every meal — with beers — for the past six months. And you leak from everywhere. Trust me, it’s gross. OK, so maybe there’s reason to think I have The Pregnancy Disease.

But the worst of it is the baby eating my brain. Those times when you put the Cornflakes in the fridge or leave the paid-for groceries at the supermarket, happen regularly. But seriously, I have nothing to complain about, in fact, it’s been one of the most amazing things I’ve . . . Sorry, what was I saying?

February 29, 2012
How to survive your child’s school meltdown

Princess Ella somehow stumbled out of the wrong side of the bed this morning and from that moment till the time I walked out on her in the classroom, she continued to push buttons. And I’m not talking about her school uniform.

She didn’t want to wear a jumper. She didn’t want me to take her to school. She didn’t want just one cupcake in her lunchbox. If only she didn’t want to whinge.

The breaking point came when, in the middle of the classroom, she clung to my leg and told me she didn’t want me to leave – 15 times. There were no tears. No melodrama. Just quiet, “stay here so I can whinge some more’’ type of stuff.

So, I gently pulled her off me, told her I was leaving and walked out. As I got to the corner, I peered back to see what she was doing, only to see her standing in the middle of the classroom, head bowed and bottom lip dropped. Breaks. My. Heart.

A day earlier Nathalie from Easy Peasy Kids had posted Do you ever want to run away? and suddenly every word rang true. I wanted to be lying on the beach, good book in one hand, a glass of sav blanc in the other. And probably some hot guy fanning me with one of those giant branch thingys. Unless, of course, you’re busy, Brad. And then George, you’ll do.

Instead, I headed home and posted this on Facebook and Twitter:

“ Ella had a meltdown at school this morning (wanted her dad to take her, didn’t want to get dressed, wanted two cupcakes in her lunch etc etc). In the end, I had to walk out of the classroom. I’m feeling like the worst parent in the world right now. All virtual hugs accepted (bar sleazy, old men).’’

If you’ve ever wondered the worth of social media, here’s just a taste of why it matters for this mum in particular:

@RozBatson: Hope you feel better soon. Motherhood is all about guilt isnt it…. I am sure you did the right thing/only thing you could. :-))

@Sar_Wah: I’m sure you did what you had to do, the teacher would be well used to dealing with those situations & Ella will learn from it.

@katepickle: oh that is the hardest thing.. here’s hoping she was fine after you left and has a great day

Seana Smith – Author: Hugs, hugs, hugs… all part of the tricky business of settling into school, setting boundaries etc etc Best thing to leave to experts and walk away but so awful at the time!!

Casey: Oh dear! It is just awful how we beat ourselves up when we know they are struggling isn’t it? Big virtual hugs to you. Feeling yuck about it just means you are a loving, caring Mum – you are great! Xoxo

Anita: Big hugs – as a school teacher (on family leave) I can almost guarantee that within 10 minutes of you leaving she would have been fine! Teachers deal with that sort of thing often and are good at the art of distraction! Xx

Michelle: I just left my son crying at kinder I know how you feel and it’s not a nice feeling

Beyond the Bump: huge hugs, if it makes you feel any better I’m in line for worlds worst mum today, had to walk out of kindy leaving Dex on the floor screaming because I forgot it was red day and dressed him all in blue. I feel so terrible that I forgot. I’m sure your little miss was fine just after you left.

Angela: Big hug from me too Kel. I had been warned by a girlfriend that has 4 girls that a meltdown at some stage is very likely!! I’m sure Grace’s is just around the corner. You are a wonderful mum and I’m sure when you go to pick her up today she will bursting to tell you all the fantastic things she did today!!! Thinking of you xx

Diana: Hugs x100. Some days are just like that. Eat as much chocolate or cupcakes as you need to.

How can you not feel better after all that? And there was more.

The day did get better. After I picked her up from school at 3pm, we headed for babyccinos and a chat. The root of the problem is not school. She loves going to school. It’s that she wants her Dad to take her to school. She agreed it can happen sometimes, but there’s only so many times he can tell the boss he was caught in traffic (he is the boss. And we live in Tassie – there is no traffic).

Oh, and apparently her friend had chalk cake and can she have chalk cake in her lunchbox next week? Ah, shortcake maybe?

We’re now friends again and all is well with the world. Apart from the fact the wrinkly old people sitting next to us in the cafe “shouldn’t talk with their mouths full, Mum. It’s rude’’. Manners, indeed.

Have you experienced THE school meltdown? How did you cope?

February 21, 2012