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Tag: parenting

What it feels like to be a mother

Women go through all gamut of emotions when they enter motherhood. I thought I’d share some of the strange and wonderful feelings I’ve experienced during the past five-odd years.

That feeling you get when you `do it’ for the first time without protection when deciding to start a family.
That feeling you get when you’re still doing it eight months later with no result.

That feeling you get when you feel your child kick inside you for the first time.
That feeling you get when you realise it’s somehow got to come out yet.

That feeling you get when your baby finally crowns. Um… ouch.
That feeling you get when you hold your child for the first time.

That feeling you get when your child says their first word.
That feeling you get when your child just won’t stop talking.

That feeling you get when your child heads off for their first day of school.
That feeling you get when school holidays arrive.

That feeling you get when your child draws a masterpiece on their bedroom wall.
That feeling you get when your child puts their arms around you and says “I love you’’.

This is just an overview of some of the feelings I’ve had during the past five years. Li’l Holly is about to turn two and Princess Ella is about to turn five. As @dufussy tweeted this week: “the days are long, but the years are short’’.

What are the standout feelings from your time as a mum?

September 12, 2012
The difference a year can make

Where were you 12 months ago? The Bloke in the Shed and I were doing this excruciating 6km community walk the other day – excruciating for me; a leisurely stroll for him – when he piped up with: “I couldn’t have done this a year ago?’’.

He’s right. He would have been struggling to complete it, if it wasn’t for taking on a personal trainer 18 months ago and having dropped a significant amount of weight. He now does 10-12km runs every night – without breaking a sweat. I know. Makes you sick, doesn’t it?

Janelle, his trainer, is a huge motivator for him. She’s lost 90kg (that’s two of me) and is a totally different person to who she was a few years ago. She’s also a mum. Like Julian, her kids become the catalyst to get healthy.

It’s made me think about how far I’ve come in 12 months (which might be interesting to look back on in another year). Here are some of the things I was struggling with then:

THEN: I swore I was going to turn into ol’ black eyes rocker Jon English from the effects of sleep deprivation and, like Jon English, it would last forever. I was still getting up at least once during the night – on a good night.
NOW: I’m like a frizzy-mopped child getting their hair brushed if one of the girls wakes before 6.30am. It’s strictly non-stop 7pm to 7am sleep here now.

THEN: Managing two to three business clients on my own and dreaming one day I’d be drinking pina colada’s from my private island home (ah, too many Richard Branson books, maybe). At one point, maybe six months ago, I contemplated shutting the business down.
NOW: I’m writing a book, have two exceptional team members on board the business, a list of super talented clients, doing public speaking/sessions on blogging and social media, gaining media attention and more exciting opportunities coming up in the near future. Still working on the island though…

THEN: Holly was about to turn one and was totally dependent on me – still couldn’t walk, unable to really communicate what she wanted and I was having to feed two mouths at once at meal times.
NOW: Holly is about to turn two and can walk; never stops talking (and singing the full lyrics to High School Musical); does dance concerts with her sister in the lounge room; has developed an incredibly cheeky personality, complete with selective hearing; can feed herself; is starting to toilet train; and has a strong group of little friends she’s close to. Best of all, her and Ella are now able to play properly together, leaving me in peace to unpack the dishwasher.

THEN: Blogging every day, struggling to come up with unique topics, putting an incredible amount of pressure on myself and watching my stats like my life depended on it. Apparently, it doesn’t. Phew for that!
NOW: I blog 2-3 times a week – either when I feel like writing or have something to say. OK, so let’s be honest, I just don’t have the time for daily blogging anymore (says she who’s doing a #BlogFor30 challenge on her other blog). I rarely look at my stats but, when I do, it seems this space is continually growing without any great effort. I also seem to be falling into collaborative opportunities, including with the recent Mum Blogging Masterclass and now via a group of bloggers I’ve long admired who work together to help each other – and our readers.

It’s amazing the difference a year can make. Imagine what another 12 months will bring. Let’s hope it’s: getting fitter and healthier (time to curb the chocolate habit), finding a better work/life balance (some days are harder than others) and having an updated wardrobe (seriously, there’s only so much white, cream and pink one person should legally have).

Where were you 12 months ago? Where do you want to be in 12 months? Are you actively working towards it?

September 7, 2012
How do you toilet train a toddler? (potty training)
Potty training sends some people… well, a little potty. When we toilet trained Princess Ella just before her second birthday it took all of a week and she was trained. So you can imagine I have these incredibly unrealistic expectations for Li’l Holly, who has started repeating the words “nappies are yuck” and pulling her nappy off to do a nudie run up the hallway at every opportunity.

The real challenge is she doesn’t like the turtle potty and only wants the “big girl toilet”. This means it’s hard to tell if she’s actually done a wee on there yet. She has made some lovely facial expressions though as if she’s squeezing something out. She is also highly fascinated with wiping her own bottom, even though she hasn’t done anything.

So, how are we going to tackle this one?
- Dress her in big girl pants when she’s around the house so she can literally see when she’s done a wee. Then take her to the toilet straight after and give her praise.
- Dress her in training nappy pants when out so she can feel she’s done a wee, but not make a mess in public.
- Put her in proper nappies of a night till she starts to have dry night nappies (although, she’s already having dry night nappies – but I’m not taking any chances).
- Keep up the praise around her asking to go to the toilet. I’ll buy her a unicorn when she finally does that first wee on the loo, I swear.
- Taking the fold-up Dora potty seat in my handbag with us everywhere.
When we went hard with this strategy for Ella we had wee spots everywhere for three or four days. Then nothing. Sure, there was still the odd accident – and the smell of urine in the air for weeks afterwards until we got the carpet cleaner in.

I will be honest and say that No. 2s were a whole other story. That did take a while. One of the tips we were given by a child carer was to sit her on the potty and read her a book. Surpringly, this worked. Whether it was allowing her to relax or just simply slowed her down to give her time to “do her business”, I don’t know. But I’ll be adopting that method again, complete with an appropriately titled Pooh Bear book.

What are your toilet training tips or favourite toilet training products?
August 30, 2012
GUEST POST: Scheduling time for yourself
What better timing for a post about scheduling time for yourself than straight after a weekend away with the hubby. Here’s a guest post by the lovely Linda from Mums on the Go. She’s just had her third baby last week and so knows all about the importance of needing to put time aside for yourself.

* * *

Since becoming a mother time for myself has become a precious and rare thing. Partly from the natural change in life that occurs with young children, partly because we have no family nearby and partly because my husband and I have always been people with a lot of commitments in life which leaves us little “spare” time.

When we returned to Sydney before Christmas my husband and I sat down and talked about the changes we wanted to create in our life. By returning to the city we call “home”, we felt better equipped to set up more supportive routines for the family. Time for ourselves was a big priority and we knew the only way to make it happen was to create a family plan for the week.

It looks like this and is pinned to the fridge:

You will notice there is nothing high tech or beautiful about our plan. However, creating a basic chart was essential to having us commit to the changes we wanted to see.

Some people might think it is a bit formal to have a plan like this, but it really works for us.

As a result:
- I have been able to go to yoga once a week and my husband usually joins me if he is in Sydney;
- My husband paddles two mornings a week with his friends when he is in town;
- During daylight savings we went for a family walk on Friday evenings, which usually included a brief stop at a local park for the kids;
- We have managed to book a monthly date night;
- My husband remembers he is on dinner duty Sunday night … some of the time;
- The only thing on the plan that didn’t really happened is my Wednesday morning swims … Basically because I fell pregnant just after creating the plan and felt too ill to swim in the mornings. By the time I felt better it was too cold in the mornings.
I know that time for mysef helps me be a better mum, wife and quite simpy a happier human being, so I am glad we have taken steps as a family to make this more of a priority.

Do you manage to have time for yourself each week? How does it work in your house?

Linda Anderson is Mum of three kids under five, the founder of Mums on the Go and principal coach of a2a coaching. For more tips and resources about caring for your own needs visit the Mums on the Go website or follow on Facebook or Twitter.
August 14, 2012
Fishing in the toilet bowl – or something like it

A few days ago, just as the girls were about to get into the bath, Ella popped herself up on the toilet to do a whizzer. Li’l Holly decided she wanted to know what the fuss was all about with this weeing thing and so stuck her head in the toilet, behind Ella, to take a look.

Midway through Ella’s twinkling, Holly decides to talk about the wonderment of wee while her dummy is in her mouth. Which is not a good idea when your head is over a toilet bowl. As expected, she drops her dummy… and all hell breaks loose.

Ella panics and jumps off the toilet. Mid wee. The wee, however, doesn’t stop. I try to coax her back onto the toilet, with no luck. I reach for t-shirts, trousers, dresses and towels – anything – to stick under her.

From the corner of my eye, I then notice Holly is reaching into the toilet for “dum dum, Mum. My dum dum’’. Noooooo. I take a deep breath, plunge my hand into the deep dark depths of the toilet bowl and retrieve the little sucker.

Saved.

There is silence for a good 60 seconds.

Seriously, this never happened pre-kids.

Have you had to retrieve dummy’s from wee-filled toilet bowls before? Or worse?

August 2, 2012
Has respect been lost?

The Bloke in The Shed appeared on Today Tonight last night, as part of a story on the Show Some Respect campaign he has been pushing in his role as Advocate newspaper Editor.

The idea for the campaign came about after witnessing vision of a police officer having to resort to using pepper spray on a teenager, along with the rising level of verbal abuse and assaults on emergency workers. The North West Coast of Tasmania is no different to anywhere else in Australia in dealing with these issues. However, the difference is they’re trying to create some change and bring back respect.

Click to watch the story (and yes, that’s The Bloke in The Shed in the still)…

What do you think? Have young people lost respect for our front-line workers – police, ambulance officers, firies, teachers and nurses? What is our responsibility as parents?

And did anyone else grow up in absolute fear of the thought of having to encounter a police officer? *shudders*

July 31, 2012