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Category: The Bloke in The Shed

Kisses from daddy. Well, Kiss Biscuits, at least.

By The Bloke in The Shed

Li’l Holly has had to play second fiddle in a number of ways. For me as a dad, brutally honestly, I simply have not had the chance to bond with her as I did with our first born, Princess Ella. It’s second-child syndrome.

Ella and I spent a vast amount of days alone giving mum a break. It was fantastic. Hence, we know each other completely (which can also be a negative because we also know how to push each other’s buttons).

Li’l Holly’s arrival in the world coincided with mum stopping work, an increase in my work-life responsibilities and throw in a big sister for good measure.

Normally, when Holly and I are together and mum is having some “mum time”, the baby of the family also has to compete with Ella for my attention …. let me tell you, not many successfully compete with Ella in the attention stakes.

Yet this month saw Holly and I spent our first true day together. Ella was in care, I was on holidays and mum needed some time to do PR and blogger stuff, so Holly and I got the chance to spend the day alone. It was nothing short of fantastic.

Li'l Holly showing how to make a Vita Wheat magically disappear – if the seagull doesn't get it first

It’s not to say we weren’t close before, but we haven’t had a chance to forge the incredible bond Holly has with her mother. Whether by nature or nurture, Holly is one strong-willed individual. Where Ella warms to people and people warm to her instantly, Holly almost looks at people as if assessing their entire life history. It takes a lot to earn her trust.

While I love her with all my life and every breath she takes, that day alone I know helped us grow our relationship as father and daughter immeasurably. Or, it could have been the awesome Kiss Biscuit we shared at the local bakery? Whatever. Long may it continue.

Do your children get dad and daughter/son time regularly?

February 16, 2012
The Shed: A strange man just played with my bits

By The Bloke in The Shed

It isn’t every day I let a strange man play with my bits. This day was not any day though and, strictly speaking, he was a doctor.

The time had come for my first medical appointment to ensure no further princesses or princes were added to our household. Here I was with Princess Kel by my side talking to a man about… well, you know… “The Snip’’.

The urologist opened with the line “well, there’s only one reason I see a fit, young bloke like you and his wife …’’. Yep, my sperm should be preparing for a road block.

I’m not sure what I expected, but I was a little surprised when our doctor started using Aussie terms I hadn’t heard or used since high school to describe the process. Did he just say “balls’’?

The most awkward bit came when he said “well, I’ll have to have a bit of a look down there’’. Scene: Kel sitting in same room behind a curtain while someone else fondles “the crown jewels’’. Weirdly, that was the part Princess Kel had the most questions about.

Kel and I had made the decision some time ago that I’d have a vasectomy after the birth of our second child. Seriously, I have been surprised at the negative reaction it’s received from some males. Things like: “What if you want to have more kids?”, “What if you get divorced?”, “You know it’s hard to reverse?’’, “You know Kellie could have a new device inserted which would last for a couple of years?’’etc. The last question actually came from someone in the medical profession.

Frankly, I’ve been shocked by all this. But I guess blokes are a little sensitive and perhaps a little stupidly protective about that whole area.

Me? Less so. Thanks to a reluctance of my “little pals” to drop, I have some horrific memories of several operations as a kid – picture trying to stretch a shoelace with your delicates attached and you’ll get a hint of what I went through. Hence, I consider myself lucky to have fathered children at all and am very content with what life has presented me.

The way I figure it is, I watched my wife suffer two troublesome pregnancies. If this makes our lives a little easier, then it’s the least I can do. I realise that the procedure is final and is incredibly hard to reverse. Fine with that. As I said, I consider myself lucky.

Our GP delivered some sound advice when he told us not to rush into it and leave it at least a year after the birth of Li’l Holly. Let’s face it, with a tired, breastfeeding wife, it’s not often during that time there is an issue in any case.

Yet, 16 months on, neither Kel nor I thought differently, but we did appreciate that time and space to reaffirm our decision. So, the operation is booked.

Why blog about it? Well, it just might just help someone out there. And besides, if your wife has been in the same room while a bloke fondles your balls, there is not much dignity left to be had.

If you have any questions about the process to this point or personal experiences let us know. Or feel free to share your experiences or reasons for your or your partner having “the snip’’.

Image credit.

February 2, 2012
The Shed: C’mon, Aussie Lleyton, c’mon

By Julian O’Brien, aka The Bloke in The Shed

The look in the eyes of the kid was unmistakable. It was steely-eyed determination and grit. The kid with the backwards cap and the focus beyond his years who was looking intensely at the sports journo from a regional newspaper interviewing him was Lleyton Hewitt. The other bloke was me.

I was interviewing Lletyon after he won the national 14 and under hardcourt championships in Burnie, Tasmania and alongside him was the female winner. She was a much taller, more affable and a more relaxed personality. Her name was Alicia Molik.

Interestingly, Lleyton’s mum and dad hovered close by. Not much has changed.

What struck me then has also not changed to this day. Lleyton Hewitt is just one extremely talented and focused individual who has a terrific family support network.

Get him off court and comfortable, he’d be a terrific bloke to be around. Get him on court or out of his bubble, he’d be an absolute nightmare.

If you look up “competitor’’ in the dictionary, it would be fitting to see Lleyton’s mugshot there. Sure, Australia has probably produced more decorated tennis players, but the fact remains – on statistics – he is our greatest ever Davis Cup player. Ever. He loves the nation which spawned him. Therefore, we should love him back.

I saw someone refer to him as “Bogan Lleyton” on Twitter recently. I’m tipping Lleyton might wear that as a badge of honour and I’d encourage him to do so. The tennis player I saw as a kid transferred to the world stage.

As a pimple-faced kid, I saw him chase down balls no-one human had the right to retrieving. He was a player determined to make the most out of his ability and, regardless of any future results, he has already done just that. That should be respected, whether you love him or hate him.

Lleyton, whether the end of your career is nigh or far, you are a champion. Thanks for the memories.

What are your favourite tennis memories? Have you been watching the Open?

Photo credit.

January 23, 2012
Lessons For Wives No 5: Sexy Legs? No, it’s UGG-ly

By The Bloke in The Shed

I KNOW there is a new scourge emerging on Tasmanian streets as summer approaches. It needs to be stamped out and this is not just a crime against humanity, it’s a crime against good taste.

Some of you may remember the infamous Bras are for Boobs post on this site where I revealed the horrifying emerging trend of women using their mammary cradles as mobile phone holders. That post drew plenty of comments and plenty of traffic (albeit some of it looking for perhaps a little more than what the post offered).

Now, like that bra lesson, methinks that very few wives are guilty of this latest sin. In fact, I’d go as far as suggesting these latest sinners are single ladies or those who go out with blokes who wear their peaked caps to the side, have their favourite dirt bike brand stickered on their back window and feature numerous misspelled words tattooed on various parts of their beings.

Okay, that out of the way, what is this new crime? When in the heck did it become okay to wear very high cut, skimpy shorts with knee-high ugg boots? Seriously, maybe you might be able to get away with it at home, but in the main street of town in the middle of the day? I’m not sure I’ve seen a better case for the return of corporal punishment.

It’s like the women (okay, mostly teenage girls) can’t decide whether it’s warm enough or not outside so they have five bucks each way. Having been a fan of the ugg boot over the years, in the right environment, this seemingly growing fad must be nipped in the bud before it gets out of hand lest it damage the lambs-wool shoes’ brand irreparably.

Please, for the good of humankind, say no to ugg-ly shorts combos.

Have you witnessed this fashion disaster? Or are you brave enough to admit you’re part of the trend?

Read more from The Bloke in The Shed

Linking up Shae from Yay for Home’s Things I Know. Make sure you click to learn what others’ know.

December 9, 2011
The Shed: The reason I ditched a date with Princess Mary

My li'l Tasmanian princess

By The Bloke in The Shed

IT’S NOT every day you get a chance to snub royalty. Yep, a letter arrived inviting me and Princess Kel to dinner with our Prime Minister Julia Gillard, Princess Mary and Prince Frederik of Denmark.

While it was an interesting offer, it did not take me long to respond in the negative – I’m enjoying spending some well-earned holidays with my own little royal family, the three princesses. There was also the little matter of forking out for the airfares to Canberra.

Now I assumed Princess Kel would be delighted when I told her I’d turned down the chance of a lifetime to spend as much time of my first holidays in seven months with her and the kids as possible. How wrong could I be?

“YOU DID WHAT?’’ she exclaimed.

“Get on the ‘net and check out how much the fares would be,’’ she followed.

“But what would we do with the kids?,” I countered.

“We’ll think of something.’’

Luckily, given the dinner was only a little over a week away, the airfares were the equivalent of the USA’s GDP and it made my original decision the correct one. Phew.

It soon became clear of Kel’s motive. “That would have made an awesome blog post,’’ she sighed.

Work, life and family commitments (not in that order) have made me a little scarce from www.threelilprincesses.com in recent months (is that the sound of cheering I hear?). A lot has happened in that time as I’ve worked hard to establish myself in a new position at work, a busy family and community life. Our little bubba Holly turned one and is growing at the rate of knots. Princess Ella has turned four and is far wiser than her years.

After a bath-time, um, disagreement between Kel and I tonight, Ella sided with her mum and said to me this:

“Daddy?,’’ she said.

“Yes, darlin’,’’ I replied.

“Sometimes I go with mummy’s team and then sometimes I’m on your team,’’ she said.

“Tonight I’m on mummy’s team and I’ll be on your team tomorrow I will. Will that be good?’’

“Yes darling’,’’ I replied unable to disguise my smile.

I guess after four years I should be happy she wants to be on my team … sometimes. I’m quite happy with my own little royal family thankyou very much.

Would you have ditched Princess Mary for your children?

November 17, 2011
SHED: Boo you, Dad

“Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,’’ she said. I know you haven’t lived as a father until you have been booed relentlessly by your own three-year-old daughter.

She wasn’t mucking around either. “Boooooooooooooooooooo,’’ said Princess Ella in the back seat of the car. The boos were loud and continuous and in fact lasted from the time I picked her up from childcare till the time we went up the driveway at home. I’m not even exactly sure where she learned to boo.

Okay, explanation. Ella had been looking forward to her little sister, Baby Holly, spending some time with her at childcare. You see, as Holly’s nearly one, we’re slowly introducing her to childcare with an eventual view to her spending at least one day a week there.

Doing my bit, I dropped Ella off at childcare in the morning and travelled to my workplace in another city, while Princess Kel was to take Holly in later. Hours later I got a call from a frantic Kel, who’d been searching the house high and low for her car keys, only to then discover I’d taken both sets with me inadvertently.

A decision was made and due to my work commitments, Holly would not be going into childcare that day and was housebound. Needless to say, Ella was less than impressed when I explained to her what had happened on picking her up from childcare. “Booooooooooooooooooooooo,’’ she said. Yep, dad was in the poo with both mother and daughter.

Ella is immensely proud of her sister and loves to show her off to her friends at childcare and she was clearly upset dad had ruined her chance at gloating. Therefore, I know I deserved the “boooooooooooooooooo’’. Oh well, I know it probably won’t be the last time I deserve it.

Have you ever been booed by your children? Or worse?

Linking up Shae from Yay for Home’s Things I Know.

September 30, 2011