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Category: Books and Reading

The Parent Manifesto: Book extract

The lovely Jodie Benveniste from Parent Wellbeing is taking over the palace today as part of her week-long Virtual Book Tour for her latest release. I’ve already devoured her two previous books – Full Belly and Little Bundle – and am now enthralled by her The Parent Manifesto: How to create a parenting approach that’s perfect for your family.

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As a first-time mum, I devoured every book possible on parenting, to the point I became so confused I wasn’t quite sure whether I was laidback Kate Hudson or strict Julia Roberts. According to my acting skills, I’m neither. The fact is, I didn’t trust my instincts enough.

Funnily, the past two weeks I’ve had my head buried in yet another parenting book. The difference is this one doesn’t tell me what to do. Instead Jodie has put together a nurturing and encouraging step-by-step style book that empowers mums and dads to create a parenting approach that’s perfect for their family. I mean, seriously, nobody else is quite like The O’Briens.

It doesn’t matter what age your children are, anyone can put themselves back in control by using the tools Jodie provides. The AAA Parenting Tool is my fave. And no, it has nothing to do with using batteries. We’re now creating our own little O’Brien Parent Blueprint.

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Here’s an extract from the book which particularly resonated with me:

This is what I value, this is what I believe

Not so long ago, I had a major meltdown

I was de-motivated about my work and I felt uncertain and unsure. This was confronting because I’m normally highly motivated, goal orientated, and very sure about what I want to achieve.

But I was forced to stop everything, sit back, reflect and make some decisions. Difficult decisions.

This process involved a number of stages.

Firstly, I had a major freak out. The freak out was the warning sign that my life wans’t how it should be. Freaking out wasn’t a pleasant experience, but, as I later realised, it was necessary.

Secondly, I went through a stage of feeling incredulous. I didn’t believe there was anything wrong with my life. What could possibly be wrong? THERE IS NOTHING, I REPEAT, NOTHING WRONG! But there obviously was.

Stage three involved avoidance. I wasn’t motivated to work hard so I created distractions like reading and re-reading the Twilight books. It was enjoyable and indulgent, but only for a while.

It was time to face facts. I realised that working too many hours and putting too much pressure on myself at work and at home was not sustainable. I had to be honest. I had to get real.

Next, I spent time reflecting on what was important to me. I asked myself some tough questions and really listened to my gut. Why was I working so hard? For what end? Who was benefiting? Me? My family? Is there another way to do this? How can I make this better?

Then, I made some difficult decisions. They included selling my corporate business to focus on Parenting Wellbeing, and scaling back my working hours so I didn’t miss out on my kids.

Finally, I moved onto a happier stage where I felt physically healthier and more fulfilled. I was still working hard on my business but in a smarter and more sustainable way and I had more energy and emotional capacity for my family.

Turing a meltdown into a valuable learning experience involved me assessing my values and beliefs.

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Jodie is also running a new 12 week Parent Manifesto program

AND

a free webinar next week:

Parenting enemy #1: Everyone else knows best (or do they?) During the webinar I’ll be providing valuable information such as:

· The 5 parenting pressures that are keeping us from having a great family life

· The top 5 things that parents really want

· The 3 things kids really need from us as parents

· How one parent overcame her struggle with dealing with others’ opinions about her parenting (including her own mum’s)

· How you can separate helpful and unhelpful parenting advice, and parent a little more confidently

It will take place at 8pm AEST time on Thursday, 26th April. Visist: https://www4.gotomeeting.com/register/787159231

So, what was the worst piece of parenting advice you received? And what was the best advice you were given?

April 19, 2012
Warning! Baby brain may result in foot in mouth disease
EVER said something that by the time you realised what you’d said it was too late to take back and as a result you looked like a douche bag?

Well, not so long ago someone was kindly commenting on how they enjoyed reading my newspaper column about my pregnancy, birth and rearing Ella during her first year. They said they enjoyed it because their granddaughter was a month younger and so it helped them anticipate what was coming next. She said a month after I wrote something her granddaughter would be doing it – ie rolling, walking, talking etc.

My response: “Oh, I used to write them a bit in advance, so she would have done a lot of that stuff for a few weeks before it got printed?’’

I smiled, then wondered why everyone in the room was giving me death stares. A quick rewind in my brain as to what I’d just said and I realised I was implying her granddaughter was slow.

All of a sudden the clock was telling me it was time to go home.

Does your brain and mouth sometimes not work in sync?
- The Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves: The Snotty Truth About Motherhood ebook will be released Monday, April 23.
April 9, 2012
Another look inside the upcoming ebook

Here’ another excerpt from the April released ebook. And it now has a title: Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves – The Snotty Truth About Motherhood.

We’re getting closer (and extremely nervous)…

The bump

All-day sickness — milk it for all it’s worth

Vomit, wind, dribble and burping — and this is all before the baby’s even born. To be honest, right now I’m in the midst of the easy part of being knocked up. The worst I have to complain about is being kicked in the guts repeatedly or having a foot poke out from under my skin.

It’s a far cry from those challenging early days, trust me. In the initial months, a Queensland holiday sounded like just what the doctor would have ordered — except that the doctor probably knew better.

Having scoffed at women who carried on about morning sickness (oh please, it can’t be that bad!), my payback was falling victim to something that combined sailing, show rides and partying — or rather seasickness, dizziness and hangovers.

And morning sickness, my foot. Try all-day sickness. Mind you, for two months I got breakfast in bed every morning and my dinner cooked every night (couldn’t stand the fumes.Honest!).

But back to the holiday. Arriving at a Gold Coast shopping centre, 15 minutes in I start to turn green. Then there’s panic. No toilet. No rubbish bin. No time to think. So I just close my eyes, bottom up, head down and heave. When I open them again, two women are staring at me like I’m a junkie, while I stare at a once immaculately manicured garden, now far more colourful than before.

I’ve never been so glad to get home from a holiday — there’s nothing quite like spewing in your own toilet.

While the worst part is that all-day sickness arrives just before you’re able to announce you’re preggers (try explaining to work mates you’ve still got your 24-hour bug two weeks on), the best part is stringing the sickness out just that extra month longer. Come on. Breakfast in bed is hard to give up.

Read another excerpt from the book.

What was the early stages of pregnancy like for you? Did you suffer morning sickness?

March 22, 2012
A sneak peek at the soon-to-be-released ebook

Yes, you read right. I’m giving you a little sneak peek inside the long awaited ebook from my popular newspaper column, Mum’s the Word. The ebook will be released in conjunction with Fairfax’s The Advocate Newspaper in Tasmania.

To get you all up to speed, back when I first became up the duff with Princess Ella, I began writing what was a light-hearted and humorous look at having a bun in the oven. Once Ella was born, readers requested it continue and so the columns went on to document the first year of her life – the good, the bad and the down-right hilarious.

The series was read by a readership of 90,000, yet many of my readers here on the blog know little about it. So this is my chance to share that story with you. But the real reason? Four years on, The Bloke in The Shed and I receive comments weekly about that column -what parts they could relate to, what made them laugh and what was happening in their child’s life at the time. Can I add, a large number of these are middle-aged men. No joke.

One of the reasons for introducing you to this just before it’s released is because we’re on the hunt for the best title for the book. Whoever can come up with the title that wins our hearts – and maybe even makes us laugh – will score a credit in the book!

Here’s the first column in the book for a bit of inspiration:

Nauseous, patronised and fat — but happy

August 15, 2007

PEOPLE ask ‘‘how are you feeling?’’ like I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I’m just up the duff, for Pete’s sake. And if it is a disease, for me at least, it wasn’t that easy to catch — despite the warnings.

What you don’t learn — until now — is that there’s this minute window of ovulation each month, which will have you running to the bedroom faster than a cheetah chasing a limping gazelle. Sorry, nan. Perhaps you better go and make that cup of tea now.

Now, there’s some tragics — who shall remain nameless — who try to help the little blighters in their swimming endeavours by raising their legs in the air after ‘‘the deed’’. Come on. We all know it’s easier to swim with the current, not against it.

Mind you, the other theory is that you only want the toughest swimmers, not some measly little tadpole that got through on a free ticket. Just because Steven Bradbury won a gold medal, it doesn’t make him a legend.

If you want to get technical, you can go into the whole lunar moon thing, which gives you a second crack each month at scoring. But, in the end, the mission was achieved and no, it’s no disease.

Unless you count the first four months, where I felt like I’d been on the biggest New Year’s Eve bender —just the spewy end of the bender, minus the high. Plus, I look like I haven’t slept for a month after stumbling from my slumber for a leak for the third time in one night and being kicked awake in-between.

My tummy looks like I’ve indulged in Christmas lunch every meal — with beers — for the past six months. And you leak from everywhere. Trust me, it’s gross. OK, so maybe there’s reason to think I have The Pregnancy Disease.

But the worst of it is the baby eating my brain. Those times when you put the Cornflakes in the fridge or leave the paid-for groceries at the supermarket, happen regularly. But seriously, I have nothing to complain about, in fact, it’s been one of the most amazing things I’ve . . . Sorry, what was I saying?

February 29, 2012
Quiet! There’s too much noise – Zhu Zhu children’s picture book

THIS is my little stab at writing a children’s book. I know it still needs a LOT of work. Either that or the bin. It’s based on the adventures of Ella’s two Zhu Zhu pets and. at the moment, it is a well read story here. So I thought I’d share it with you.

This is my final few days as Zhu-Fari’s mummy blogger ambassador and is an opportunity I’ve been very thankful for.

QUIET. THERE’S TOO MUCH NOISE

One day, when the two princesses were at school, there were some strange things happening at home.

Mum was busily doing her work, when suddenly she heard a noise. What could it be?

She peered around the corner to find Zhu Leopard and Zhu Zebra tearing around the lounge room in a loud car. They were going sooo fast, Zhu Zebra’s hair was flapping in the wind. “Quiet,’’ Mum said. “There’s too much noise.’’

Mum headed back to doing her work. Then, a few minutes later, she heard … scratch, scratch, scratch. She peeked into the kitchen to find Zhu Leopard and Zhu Zebra trying to get into Baby Holly’s birthday cake. “Quiet,’’ Mum said. “There’s too much noise.’’

Just as Mum sat back down to her computer, she heard scratch, scratch, scratch AND nibble, nibble, nibble. What was going on? Mum headed to the kitchen again and this time found Zhu Leopard had jumped INTO the cake tin. “Quiet,’’ Mum said. “There’s too much noise.’’

As the sun started to set and Mum was writing her last few tweets (um, we mean work emails), the Zhu-Faris sat up to the window as the sky changed colour. Then… squee, squee, squee. The noisy pair had spotted a tiny bird through the window and wanted to chase it. Mum sighed and then said: “Quiet. There’s too much noise.’’

Mum had had enough. She picked the two Zhu-Faris up, took them into Princess Ella’s room and and tucked them into bed. She then opened a book and read them a quiet bedtime story. The Zhu-Fari’s sat, without making a noise, and listened.

Soon they were fast asleep.

Mum was finally able to sit down and finish her work. But something was wrong. What could it be? “It’s too quiet,’’ Mum said. “There’s not enough noise.’’

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If you want (and please, don’t feel like I’m twisting your arm), you can download a free copy of the ebook (with proper formatting) to read to your little ones. Just click on the image.

Joining in with Kate Says Stuff’s Thankful Thursday. Find out what others are thankful for by clicking the link.

DISCLOSURE: I am a Zhu-Fari mummy blogger ambassador.

October 27, 2011
The Wonder Week: Wake me when it’s over
Baby Holly during a sunny period.

WITH so much interest in The Wonder Weeks, I thought I’d continue posting as Baby Holly passes through each fussy period. Besides, it’s so easy to write about a Wonder Week when you’re in the midst of a sunny period. Yes, I’m SUPER thankful for that.

To be frank, the last Wonder Week – Wonder Week 46 – was, well … let’s just say I gained a further three grey hairs. So forgive me if I didn’t feel like posting about it at the time. You may well have seen quite a bit of colourful language going on if I had. Just call me Joan Rivers, minus the facelift.

The three Cs – cranky, clingy and crying – were out in force. We went through some major separation anxiety, which didn’t help her start to childcare. Try leaving the room when she’s stapled to your leg. Things have settled down now. Again, thankful for that.

Week 46 is all about The World of Sequences. It’s about how things fit and belong together. For example, they know the spoon has to go in the bowl and then into their mouth. Instead, it tends to catapult from the spoon to the wall for a new Weetbix wallpaper finish.

The seventh developmental stage is called The World of Sequences. And no, that’s not the stuff you put around the ruffles on your fuschia-coloured skirt. Following it, Baby Holly is now:
- Pointing at what she wants and is babbling more than ever. More words are emerging, including “sister’’ and “Mum’’ (yay!).
- Is able to take the spoon from my hand and place it in her mouth. She has been able to feed herself finger food for some time now.
- Fills bath containers with water and then pours them out. Or throws them at her sister, which ends in tears – always.
- Learning to stack her ring stacker and can see her processing how to stack blocks.
- Becoming more game when walking from one piece of furniture to the next and letting go more often as she begins to learn to stand unassisted.
- When giving her a horsey ride on my foot, she bends her knees, aiming to jump higher off the floor.
- Tries to climb steps – and everything else. Heaven help us!
- Participates more in peek-a-boo and gets excited when playing hide-and-seek with her sister.
- Imitates a lot of what I do, including brushing her teeth and hair. If only she had some hair.
- Blows hot food before eating it. Picture it: it’s cute. Add to that her newfound love of big pash kisses.
- Claps her hands at the end of songs, when we say “yay’’ to anything and when others clap.
Here’s what we’re doing to help her development during Wonder Week 46:
- Getting her to watch (and help) with household chores. She stands up at the dishwasher while I unpack it, helps put the ironed clothes away (OK, so she throws them across the room) and watches me make the bed.
- Encourage her to use a spoon (despite how utterly messy it is).
- Naming objects, such as body parts (especially when dressing) and objects. She’s already mastered quite a few. It’s always followed by hand clapping.
- Singing movement songs, including Incy Wincy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle (she loves twinkling her fingers) and Pat-a-cake (she now claps her hands – in fact, she claps her hands at everything).
- Hide an object under another object (box, material etc) and get her to find it. She also likes lift-the-flap books and plain old peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek.
- Toys have included Ella’s rocking horse, balls, stacking blocks and rings and animal picture books (especially lift-the-flap books where she can lift the flap herself).
At the end of this Wonder Week, we feel like she’s now able to communicate with us easier. I feel like she’s really turning into a toddler. Although, I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

I’ve already posted about Week 26, provided a copy of the Wonder Week chart, reviewed the book and had author Frans Plooij guest post. There’s more about the new expanded version of the book on the official Wonder Week site. But to learn more about the Wonder Weeks themselves, buy the book on Book Depistory OR on Amazon.

What are your tips for dealing with a cranky, crying and clingy baby?

Please note, some of the above are affiliate links. I only support those products and services which I have full trust in.
September 22, 2011