OUR li’l chatterbox, Princess Ella, talks so much it’s inevitable she’ll deliver at least one golden quote per day.
Because of this, we’re launching a new regular series titled She Said What? Feel free to send your own little one’s funny lines through to us via the Contact page and we’ll give them a run.
The Little Emperor asked Rachel who made him. “He followed this up by asking how had we got the bones in?’’ she said, laughing. “I knew the question would come up eventually, but wasn’t expecting it in that format. Thought it would be more of a: `where did I come from’. Awkward moments!’’
Classic!
Princess Ella was also concerned with her body this week, after not feeling 100 per cent. When I later asked her how she was feeling, she replied: “my tummy has a headache.’’.
Of course it does!
So, come on. Share what line your little one’s said that’s caused you to laugh this week?
Today also happens to coincide with the bloke in The Shed, Julian, posting about our li’l girl turning her nose up to all things green – except the green in her nose, of course. Preschoolers. Phuff!
Please, leave him a comment. We’d both appreciate any tips!
By Julian O’Brien
IN PRINCESS Ella, we used to think we had a dream child.
At first, Ella would eat anything; she even used to eat olives like they were M&Ms. Then something happened and she suddenly became extremely fussy about her vegies, particularly “the green ones’’.
She still has her favourites though. Raw carrot and mushrooms will be consumed faster than you can say “pickle me grandmother’’ and I have literally seen her devour a corn cob faster than Homer Simpson can shotgun a can of Duff Beer. She even ate the broccolini on her plate first the other day – probably because we called it “baby broccoli’’.
So, what to do?
Well, we disguise her veggies. We cooked zucchini in the form of both fritters and slice, combining them with some of her “favourites” such as corn, mushies and even bacon bits. It worked for a little while.
Then Princess Kel had a good idea: what about Spinach and Ricotta Cannelloni? That was OK till Ella found out you could unwrap the spinach and ricotta and just eat the pasta.
Meat? A whole other story. Like her dad, Ella is a meat girl, preferably steak. Recently, presentations of perfectly good rissoles and sausages have been met with “I want steak, please”. Scotch fillet, to be precise. Sheesh. Talk about expensive taste.
Thank goodness we only have to worry about boobie juice for Baby Holly … for the moment.
So how do you go with your fussy eater? What tips and tricks have you uncovered?
PRINCESS Ella is not the most graceful of dancers.
In fact, she inherited her dad’s flat feet, which means she struggles to grasp the concept of “dancing on toes’’ – she’s more like Babar the Elephant than Angelina Ballerina.
However, she reached the stage where she knew all the moves on every dance-related DVD she had, so we decided it was time to start dance lessons.
Many regular readers will have already seen the bloke in The Shed’s account of gearing up to take Ella to her very first dance lesson in The Beginning of the End.
So what happened?
Well, there’s always that fear that maybe she’ll just stand there, too shy to participate.
The instructor obviously knew this to be the case for many so offered for mums to take part in the class too. Fat chance. The last time I danced in public was under the influence of a bottle of wine and Lionel Ritchie. Hmmm.
Thankfully, my dancing wasn’t required. Ella took to the class like Victoria Beckham to dieting. It may have helped that she had a li’l friend along with her, which gave them both the confidence to stand right up the front. She likes the spotlight (check out her diva moment in the video from two years ago).
These are some of the golden moments from her first lesson:
• When asked to twinkle her fingers in the air, she responded loudly with: “Look, my mummy painted my fingernails with nail polish. See?’’ The dancing had to be halted while everyone looked at her fingernails.
• Each dancer had to choose an imaginary horse. Ella’s friend decided to bring her horse over to her mummy to “show’’ her. When the dance instructor later queried Ella’s friend as to whether she’d already chosen her horse, she replied: “yes, I left it over there near mum’s chair’’.
• Ella’s eyes lit up when she was asked to “jump like a kangaroo’’. Earlier that morning we’d discovered a frog in the house (not something we’ve ever encountered before), to which Ella responded with “look dad, he’s jumping like a kangaroo’’. Needless to say, she was proud to show off her kangaroo skills for the second time that day.
• Accidentally chest bumping another dancer footy style and then pretending like nothing happened. Ella barely moved; the other girl bounced and hit the floor.
• Half the class being named Sienna and hearing an echo of:.“that’s my name, too’’.
So, how did your little one adapt to their first dance lesson (or footy match)? What moments made you laugh?
A SIBLING of mine described it best when he labeled it “the beginning of the end’’. He’s right you know.
His remark was in response to me noting that Princess Kellie and I were about to take Princess Ella to her first dancing lesson.
As a dad with two older children of his own, my bro’ prophetically noted my life now was set to be completely dominated by running Princess Ella (and eventually Princess Holly) to an endless stream of dancing lessons, music lessons, sport and social events.
My life flashed before my eyes … or was it Ella and Holly’s life, because a lot of it featured me sitting behind the bloody wheel of a car?
It was easy for my brother to say this, of course, as he sat behind the wheel of his own car in the pouring rain waiting for his boy to finish his footy training.
The real dilemma came at the end of our conversation when said boy returned and my brother was forced to somehow negotiate a way the boy could get in the car without leaving mud all over it and incurring the wrath of the “boss” of the household.
Don’t get me wrong, I want my girls to have a myriad of life experiences. I want them to learn an instrument or find something they are passionate about. It would be sensational if one of them turned into a professional athlete – maybe even the next Lauren Jackson (although, given the title of this website, that last one is highly unlikely).
As long as my girls are happy and healthy I’m fully prepared to pay the price of sitting on my backside waiting for them.
So, Ella and Holly, bring on the dance lessons, bring on the basketball training and bring on the parties, but don’t think for one minute either of you are going to choose the violin!
BEFORE children we vowed our kids would not be subjected to The Wiggles or Hi-5.
Within six months of Princess Ella being born, that went out the window – along with “we will not let them eat chocolate’’ and “we will not take them grocery shopping’’.
While books and craft take precedence in our household, there’s always time for a li’l TV each day.
Here’s 10 of our top Aussie kids’ shows and how they’re affecting our children (not to mention doing a mother’s head in):
Playschool – Watch for puzzled looks on children’s faces. While we wondered why our parents were laughing at John Hamblin’s adult humour all those years ago, now our children are wondering what’s so funny about Rhys Muldoon. “Ah, nothing, darling’’.
The Wiggles – These four skivvy-clad men have taught children that it’s OK to scream “wake up Jeff’’ to a sleeping baby. Sheesh!
Dorothy The Dinosaur – Children are learning to sing opera and dance ballet. However, as you’ll see in the YouTube video, it’s also creating divas who like to hog the spotlight.
Hi-5 – Similar to Dorothy, this one has taught them when Teddy Bear or Monster Dance comes on, Mum is not to sing the lead, only back-up vocals.
Magical Tales – Just because Sparkles and William can say “Spellaroo’’ and the Star House is cleaned up instantly, doesn’t mean it will work in real life. After attempting this one three times, it resulted in a very disappointed preschooler.
The Fairies – Children must have a fairy dress, shoes and wand with them to be able to dance properly. If they can’t find their fairy dress, all hell breaks loose.
The Kingdom of Paramithi – “Every day is a special day’’, except on days when you throw a killer tantrum. And mum doesn’t respond to: “Genevieve? Can you do a dance for me?’’ while twirling your finger.
Toy Box – Has learnt a new way to sing the alphabet that’s far more annoying than the time-honoured version. It also means now that “T’’ is our favourite letter.
Ella and Kellie during a meet and greet with Dorothy in 2008
Zigby – Just because you can hear Playschool favourite Justine Clarke singing, doesn’t mean you can see her. “Quick mum, it’s Justine.’’ Runs from the kitchen to the lounge. “Oh, where’s Justine?’’ Yes, sorry, just a stupid zebra (once known as a stripy horse).
Bindi The Jungle Girl – Teaching our children it’s OK to pick up snakes, spiders, rats … oh, and crocodiles. A real education.
So, what shows do your children watch? And, more importantly, what are they learning?
THIS challenge was designed for fellow mums to assist in getting Baby Holly to become a better sleeper.
And, in turn, help other mums battling with that all-consuming “sleep deprivation”.
This is how things have progressed so far:
Month One: Baby Holly was swaddled, then placed in her basinette and, more often than not, put herself to sleep. Occassionally, we’d have to rock the basinette gently.
Month Two: Things started to go pear shaped. She became fussy at sleep time and woke every 1-2 hours during the night for a feed. Solution: I’d throw her over my shoulder and pace the floor ’til she fell asleep. I’d then gently lay her down in her cot like she was a hand grenade ready to go off at the slightest jiggle. During the night, she would fall asleep feeding. A bedtime routine was also established.
Month Three: Wrapping her became a problem, with her constantly getting her arms out and startling herself awake. Solution: Put a rolled up muslin underneath her, wrap one side up and around her arm and tuck it back underneath her bottom. Do the same with the other side. Then use another muslin to swaddle her as normal.
Month Four: Just prior to this month, she became so heavy to rock to sleep that my arms started to look like a WWE wrestler’s. So we’d lay her down and pat her head or tummy. One afternoon, in sheer frustration after patting for so long my leg had welded into the side of the cot, our li’l girl took a dummy. To this point, her strong gag reflex had prevented her taking a pipe. Now she only wakes twice a night (heaven!) and it takes little effort to get her to fall asleep. Solution: I’ve now been popping in the dummy, patting her head or tum and, just as she’s about to doze off, I pull it out (as per Pantley’s Gentle Removal Technique). If she whines or fusses, I put it back in and repeat. Still letting her feed to sleep in the middle of the night.
Month Four and a Half: There’s nothing quite like looking at the clock in the hope it says 7am, only to find it’s 11.30pm. Urrrggghhh. I’ve decided this “Sleep Challenge’’ should be renamed “The Sleep Challenged’’. Holly will have one three-hour stretch of sleep, then usually one-hour stints after that. Initially, I put it down to teething. Then, I blamed Wonder Week 19, which is the peak of the fussiness associated with their next developmental leap. She fitted the description: trouble sleeping (ah, hello), demanding attention, loss of appetite, moody, less vocal and sucks fingers more than before (tick, tick and tick). Who knows! What I do know is she refuses to fall asleep on her own, won’t take the pacifier, will only go to sleep if I rock or feed her and my eyes are starting to resemble those of rocker Jon English. Solution: Just get through it. Hopefully it is part of the Wonder Week and she’ll come out the other end a genius. Or not. Will keep trying to settle her in the cot and offering the pacifier, but if all else fails, rock, pat, cuddle, feed … whatever. As long as she gets some sleep.
