OUR li’l chatterbox, Princess Ella, talks so much it’s inevitable she’ll deliver at least one golden quote per day.
Because of this, we’re launching a new regular series titled She Said What? Feel free to send your own little one’s funny lines through to us via the Contact page and we’ll give them a run.
The Little Emperor asked Rachel who made him. “He followed this up by asking how had we got the bones in?’’ she said, laughing. “I knew the question would come up eventually, but wasn’t expecting it in that format. Thought it would be more of a: `where did I come from’. Awkward moments!’’
Classic!
Princess Ella was also concerned with her body this week, after not feeling 100 per cent. When I later asked her how she was feeling, she replied: “my tummy has a headache.’’.
Of course it does!
So, come on. Share what line your little one’s said that’s caused you to laugh this week?
Today also happens to coincide with the bloke in The Shed, Julian, posting about our li’l girl turning her nose up to all things green – except the green in her nose, of course. Preschoolers. Phuff!
Please, leave him a comment. We’d both appreciate any tips!
By Julian O’Brien
IN PRINCESS Ella, we used to think we had a dream child.
At first, Ella would eat anything; she even used to eat olives like they were M&Ms. Then something happened and she suddenly became extremely fussy about her vegies, particularly “the green ones’’.
She still has her favourites though. Raw carrot and mushrooms will be consumed faster than you can say “pickle me grandmother’’ and I have literally seen her devour a corn cob faster than Homer Simpson can shotgun a can of Duff Beer. She even ate the broccolini on her plate first the other day – probably because we called it “baby broccoli’’.
So, what to do?
Well, we disguise her veggies. We cooked zucchini in the form of both fritters and slice, combining them with some of her “favourites” such as corn, mushies and even bacon bits. It worked for a little while.
Then Princess Kel had a good idea: what about Spinach and Ricotta Cannelloni? That was OK till Ella found out you could unwrap the spinach and ricotta and just eat the pasta.
Meat? A whole other story. Like her dad, Ella is a meat girl, preferably steak. Recently, presentations of perfectly good rissoles and sausages have been met with “I want steak, please”. Scotch fillet, to be precise. Sheesh. Talk about expensive taste.
Thank goodness we only have to worry about boobie juice for Baby Holly … for the moment.
So how do you go with your fussy eater? What tips and tricks have you uncovered?
PRINCESS Ella is not the most graceful of dancers.
In fact, she inherited her dad’s flat feet, which means she struggles to grasp the concept of “dancing on toes’’ – she’s more like Babar the Elephant than Angelina Ballerina.
However, she reached the stage where she knew all the moves on every dance-related DVD she had, so we decided it was time to start dance lessons.
Many regular readers will have already seen the bloke in The Shed’s account of gearing up to take Ella to her very first dance lesson in The Beginning of the End.
So what happened?
Well, there’s always that fear that maybe she’ll just stand there, too shy to participate.
The instructor obviously knew this to be the case for many so offered for mums to take part in the class too. Fat chance. The last time I danced in public was under the influence of a bottle of wine and Lionel Ritchie. Hmmm.
Thankfully, my dancing wasn’t required. Ella took to the class like Victoria Beckham to dieting. It may have helped that she had a li’l friend along with her, which gave them both the confidence to stand right up the front. She likes the spotlight (check out her diva moment in the video from two years ago).
These are some of the golden moments from her first lesson:
• When asked to twinkle her fingers in the air, she responded loudly with: “Look, my mummy painted my fingernails with nail polish. See?’’ The dancing had to be halted while everyone looked at her fingernails.
• Each dancer had to choose an imaginary horse. Ella’s friend decided to bring her horse over to her mummy to “show’’ her. When the dance instructor later queried Ella’s friend as to whether she’d already chosen her horse, she replied: “yes, I left it over there near mum’s chair’’.
• Ella’s eyes lit up when she was asked to “jump like a kangaroo’’. Earlier that morning we’d discovered a frog in the house (not something we’ve ever encountered before), to which Ella responded with “look dad, he’s jumping like a kangaroo’’. Needless to say, she was proud to show off her kangaroo skills for the second time that day.
• Accidentally chest bumping another dancer footy style and then pretending like nothing happened. Ella barely moved; the other girl bounced and hit the floor.
• Half the class being named Sienna and hearing an echo of:.“that’s my name, too’’.
So, how did your little one adapt to their first dance lesson (or footy match)? What moments made you laugh?
A SIBLING of mine described it best when he labeled it “the beginning of the end’’. He’s right you know.
His remark was in response to me noting that Princess Kellie and I were about to take Princess Ella to her first dancing lesson.
As a dad with two older children of his own, my bro’ prophetically noted my life now was set to be completely dominated by running Princess Ella (and eventually Princess Holly) to an endless stream of dancing lessons, music lessons, sport and social events.
My life flashed before my eyes … or was it Ella and Holly’s life, because a lot of it featured me sitting behind the bloody wheel of a car?
It was easy for my brother to say this, of course, as he sat behind the wheel of his own car in the pouring rain waiting for his boy to finish his footy training.
The real dilemma came at the end of our conversation when said boy returned and my brother was forced to somehow negotiate a way the boy could get in the car without leaving mud all over it and incurring the wrath of the “boss” of the household.
Don’t get me wrong, I want my girls to have a myriad of life experiences. I want them to learn an instrument or find something they are passionate about. It would be sensational if one of them turned into a professional athlete – maybe even the next Lauren Jackson (although, given the title of this website, that last one is highly unlikely).
As long as my girls are happy and healthy I’m fully prepared to pay the price of sitting on my backside waiting for them.
So, Ella and Holly, bring on the dance lessons, bring on the basketball training and bring on the parties, but don’t think for one minute either of you are going to choose the violin!
TODAY I had cause to visit a health shop in the local mall.
Yes, those who know me can pick themselves up off the floor and stop laughing, but Princess Ella and I simply love pea chips.
While I was there I witnessed the following event which should serve as a timely lesson to female readers –
Lady shopper walking around the health shop talking loudly on her mobile phone, obviously to her husband: “I’ll meet you if you like, I’m just in the health food shop.”
Short pause.
“The health food shop, I’ll meet you there,” she said, cleary getting impatient.
“THE HEALTH FOOD SHOP,” she said, again trying to get the message through to her husband.
At this point I’d paid for my pea chips and walked out to be greeted by a bloke standing less than five metres away from the doorway talking on his mobile.
“Where IS the health shop?” he was saying loudly into his phone.
I tapped him on the shoulder: “Mate, you’re standing in front of it.”
MY MOTHER’S trying to convince this allergy-suffering household it needs to become home to a cat.
Sounds harder than trying to persuade a three-year-old that no, it’s not chocolate she can smell on my breath (caught again today!).
However, this is no ordinary cat.
The ball of fluff she has in mind won’t cause the sniffles, won’t scratch its privates in front of guests and can be turned off when the ‘’new kitten’’ phase wears off.
It is … Talking Tom Cat, a pet feline with an annoying Smurf-like voice who lives in iPhone land. Yes, some of you may already be aware of what has becomes one of the most popular apps going around.
Tom not only repeats what you say, but can also be fed milk, KO’d after a decent smack to the head, purrs when patted and ‘’yeows’’ when you pull his tail.
Princess Ella can’t get enough of him on her Nan’s iPhone, especially bonking him on the noggin.
Just like some men believe Pamela Anderson is ‘’real’’ (come on, does she have any of her original self left?), Ella believes Tom is also a living being.
Here’s an actual transcript of one of Ella and Tom’s conversations _
Ella: Can you stand like a flamingo?
Tom: Can you stand like a flamingo?
Ella: Yes, I can. I’ll show you.
Tom: Yes, I can. I’ll show you.
Ella: OK, you go first.
Tom: You go first.
Ella: Oh. I’ll go first then.
Tom: I’ll go first then.
Ella: How about we do it together?
Tom: How about we do it together?
Ella: OK, let’s do it (by this stage her mouth’s too far from the phone for Tom to pick up her voice). See, cat. You stand on one leg. See. You’re not doing it, cat.
This conversation went on for 45 minutes.
It then resulted in a slight tantrum when it was time to go home and Tom couldn’t come with us.
Makes you wonder what on earth they’ll think of next.
I had real cats (they kept being replaced because they ended up flat on the Riana road) and it wasn’t ‘til I was in late primary school that I got my first taste of a Commodore 64 (that’s a games console kids, not a type of Holden).
The debate is still going in our household as to whether we download Talking Tom Cat.
The clincher is that I don’t have an iPhone (poor me), so there could be daily tantrums when the bloke in The Shed has to take Tom to work with him each morning.
So, how are your kids coming to terms with technology?
