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Tag: parenting

SLEEP CHALLENGE: The secret to getting your children to love bedtime

Ella as she was dressed at the beginning of the night.

STILL battling a feral teething, sleepless baby, I thought I’d tackle something more positive for this month’s Sleep Challenge. Like, how to get your children to love bedtime. Apologies if you just choked on your Weetbix. I say positive, because I’m pretty thankful the princesses are in bed by 7pm and happy to be there. What’s our secret?

It’s something we heard from some expert on a radio program a few years back and since adopting it, it’s turned bedtime around for us. Baby Holly is still a little young for this to be of any effect, but it’s ideal for three-year-old Ella.

Rather than throwing them over your shoulder, legs kicking and screaming so loud it makes the neighbours contemplate calling Family Services, we do the bedtime routine – milk, books and songs. OK, nothing new there. Unless, of course, you include the addition of jokes. Knock knock jokes to be exact. Humdingers like:

Ella: “Knock knock’’

Dad: “Who’s there?’’

Ella: “Ben.’’

Dad: “Ben who?’’

Ella: “You’d better go and ben-d down or you’ll spread Vegemite all over your face. Hahaha!’’

Not so thankful for those jokes. But I digress.

The key is then leaving on her night light and allowing her to read or play quietly until she’s sleepy. I know, not very groundbreaking. But it works. The idea is that kids should be allowed to go to sleep when they’re ready. They shouldn’t be forced to go to sleep when they’re not sleepy. This turns the whole experience into a positive one.

So now, we do our bedtime routine, tell her to read or play and that we’ll check in on her in 10 minutes. Sometimes when we go back in she’s out to it. Usually she’s upside down and wearing half her dress up box. But she’s in bed asleep, none the less. Other times she has all her “friends’’ (aka teddies and dolls) lined up in bed and a book turned outwards as she reads to them. She even does the “licking your finger’’ thing before turning pages.

Sure, there are periods where she keeps getting out of bed. “I need a wee. I need something to drink. I need… attention!’’ We just adopt the reward system – if you don’t get out, you get a reward at the end of the week. For us, it works.

PS. This post was inspired by a Twitter conversation about what time your children go to bed, with Lina from Mother’s Love Letters, Megan from Writing Out Loud (whose daughter “asked’’ to go to bed at 6.30pm last night), Alli from Motivating Mum (who responded with “What! I wish!’), Kirsty from Mummy To Five (who has five in bed by 7pm) and Sarah from Whisper Mum’s The Word. It was then taken to Facebook, where it exploded.

The consensus was 6.30-7.30pm. A few were 8-8.30pm. Some moved sleep times later as their children got older.

Read more from the Sleep Challenge.

Linking up with the lovely Kate Says Stuff’s Thankful Thursday. Click on the link to find out what others are thankful for this week.

August 25, 2011
Things I know about motherhood

BEFORE kids I imagined motherhood would look something like this:

Credit: Dale Cumming Photography

Yes, a serene setting, an irresistibly cute child, everyone in their place and my hair perfect.

However, I know the reality is this:

Credit: Dad

That’s right, the eldest child’s hair is scruffy, there’s a bassinette still not packed away, a doll’s cradle lying around, a bit of Weetbix on my shoulder, the *ahem* same top I was wearing two years ago, a baby pulling at my once-perfect hair and I think there’s a little something poking out bub’s nose.

You know what? I know I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m linking up with Yay for Home as part of Things I Know.

August 12, 2011
How to survive the witching / arsenic / feral hour
A teething Baby Holly

A FELLOW mum has started going solo of a night now her hubby is working a late shift. She wanted some tips on how I survive witching hour on the nights The Bloke in The Shed is at meetings ‘til late. That time of night when supernatural creatures are particularly active. Oh, sorry, wrong witching hour.

I was sure I had plenty of tips and magic spells to turn little ferals into perfect, patient angels. Like, move to another time zone when 5pm hits. Seriously. I thought our nights ran less like battling peak hour traffic and more like a ballet dance. I might add, not Ella’s ballet, where last week the teacher asked them to “sit there, girls” and every one of them got up and followed her to the instrument cupboard.

As I was in the midst of trying to juggle everything tonight – a teething Baby Holly biting my shoulder while I jiggled her up and down on one hip, stirred food with the other hand and pushed pencils in the direction of Princess Ella via a foot as she complained she was “huuuungry’’ – I wondered if maybe I could be doing it better. Or is that called coping?

Here are some of my witching hour coping strategies and suggestions:
- Put young babies into a baby carrier or older babies into a Jolly Jumper. Not unlike bike riding, going “hands-free” can still end in tears for someone. Especially if your door opening isn’t very wide and you have an overactive jumper.
- For preschoolers and older, get them involved in cooking the meal. Children are more likely to eat the main meal if they’ve had a hand in preparing it. Yes, sometimes even broccoli.
- Give them a new toy. Which really just means something stashed in the cupboard that they’d previously become bored with. To them, it’s new.
- Set up an activity they’re able to do themselves for 20 minutes – drawing, play dough, craft or dancing (concerts are a highlight here). It’s just enough time to peel the spuds and get the meat into whatever appliance it needs to go into.
- Press the action button on the Zhu Zhu pet and watch them go silly. It causes giggles (and ear piercing squeals) for a good 20 minutes.
- Have lots of leftovers and freezer food. We tend to do big cook ups on the weekends now and freeze some of it or have it as leftovers early in the week. This helps make mealtime preparation shorter.
- Feed them sultanas. I know, I know, never eat before dinner time. It doesn’t appear to have affected either of their appetites I might add. Yes, big eaters. Plus, sultanas seem to take forever to chew.
- If all else fails, just keep pedalling.
Then it’s onto the nightly routine:

6pm: Dinner time

6.30pm: Bath time (also known as “let’s see how wet we can get the bathroom floor’’)

6.45pm: All pile into Ella’s bed for books, songs and milk. If Baby Holly is so tired she can’t stay awake for books, I leave Ella to read to herself, feed and put Holy to bed, and come back and resume the routine with Ella.

7pm: Everyone tucked up into bed. Hopefully asleep. Yes, wishful thinking.

How do you cope with witching hour? What are your tips for surviving each night?
August 11, 2011
SHED: Family will always come first

THE memories of going into my dad’s work with him as a kid remain as vivid as if they occurred yesterday. I still recall every step up the stairs to the office where he ran a construction company and I even remember the distinct, peculiar and unique crisp smell of the carpet which I have never rediscovered to this day.

Being a bit of a mistake, my arrival was towards the end of my father’s office professional life, but the occasional journeys with dad into his work were brilliant. It felt like I was being let into a secret society. It may even be why I trended towards an office career than a trade like so many of my brothers.

Last weekend I took my three Princesses into work with me. Princess Ella has been into my work often for short stints with me, Kel used to work there before becoming a mummy blogger and PR consultant and Baby Holly won’t remember it anyway. But being in there as a family reminded me of my memories with dad.

My life has got a whole lot busier of late. Some of you may have, but probably not, noticed I’ve been spending a lot less time in The Shed. A work promotion has taken all my focus and left little time for thinking about tinkering here.

A little over a year ago, just to add to the schedule, I joined a service club to give back to our community and I’m clinging to a lesson from that club. “Family first, work second and service thereafter’’.

While I’ve been working hard to establish my new work position and will continue to do so, family is the most important thing in life. I’ve tried to devote as much quality time with the girls as possible, hence the weekend’s excursion. The girls, particularly Princess Ella, loved it – interacting with the people there and discovering a dish of chocolate caramels (otherwise known as “motivators’).

It’s a delicate balance, but I hope it shows my girls they are always included and a part of my life, as well as acknowledging none of it could happen without their support.

Did you ever visit your parents at work as a child? What are your memories?

August 9, 2011
How to brush your teeth (for kids)
Princess Ella's pearly whites after brushing twice a day

BRUSHING teeth used to set off tantrums in our house bigger than Russell Crowe after having his poem reading cut short. The memories of those moments came flooding back when parents of toddlers started discussing the minty fresh topic during the Colgate Bloggers Brunch in Sydney last month.

However, something changed with Princess Ella. Maybe it was turning into a preschooler, maybe it was finding a way to make the whole experience fun or it could well be that she’s now in control of the situation. And what three-year-old doesn’t love control?

With 38% of children aged 5-6 having some form of tooth decay, we all need to find an easier way to get toothbrushes onto pearly whites. So, as part of Oral Health Month this August I thought I’d share some of the tips made by bloggers and NSW Dental Hygienists’ Association of Australia president Melanie Hayes during the bloggers brunch, plus a few of my own.

Tips for healthy teeth:
- Use a small, soft brush and, for children over 18 months, a pea-sized amount of low fluoride toothpaste. (Rinse first. You never know where they’ve had it). Try and encourage them to spit the toothpaste out, not swallow it. This can become a game in itself (as you’ll see by the video).
- Brush twice a day, with the final brush AFTER their night-time milk (if your child is still having a drink of milk at night).
- Let them have a go at brushing their teeth first, then take over.
- Face them away from you, looking into a mirror, and brush them as if you were brushing your own teeth. Clean the outer surfaces, the chewing surface and behind the front teeth.
- If you have more than one child, let them all brush together. Better still, join them and have “family brushing time’’. Kids love to copy.
- Brush your child’s teeth, while they brush your teeth (a tip by Zoey of Good Goog)
- Sing The Toothbrush Song from PlaySchool to make the experience a little more entertaining (A little shy on the singing in this video).
- Have a morning and night-time routine chart on the wall that shows when it’s time to brush. This makes them responsible for remembering when to brush. (Again, it’s the control thing).
- You should help your child brush their teeth until they are eight years old (I know, good luck to us all).
Now, for a video of Ella showing how we make brushing teeth fun. So this one’s for the little people in the house. Mums, set the kids up with the laptop for a few minutes and go finish the dishes (or that sneaky bit of chocolate hiding in the pantry).

What are your tips for getting children to brush their teeth?
August 2, 2011
What’s the ideal age gap between children?
Girls aged 3 are more likely to cope emotionally with a new sibling.

SO, WHAT is the ideal age gap between children? This was a question that came about last week when a reader emailed to admit she was a little low after struggling to conceive her second child. She was desperate for her children to be close in age, but that was starting to look less likely.

She is now being bombarded with comments from friends and family about how kids need to be close together. Not exactly what you need to hear, right?

I could relate. I chased The Bloke In The Shed around the bedroom for eight months. It’s the only time he’s faked a headache. However, our two girls ended up a month shy of being three years apart. For us, it turned out to be a blessing.

Here’s why:
- After giving birth to Baby Holly, my child health nurse informed me girls aged three are able to cope better emotionally with the change of a new person in the house. There are also less issues with jealousy and behavioural problems. For boys, it is even later – 3.3 years.
- Princess Ella is able to get nappies and wipes, take herself to the toilet and dress herself.
- Sleep deprivation is only caused by one child – not two.
- Ella is capable of entertaining herself while Baby Holly is being fed or put to bed.
- All children want to be affectionate with their baby sibling, but at a younger age struggle with the concept of being gentle. Mind you, there has been the odd time I’ve caught Ella sitting on Holly. She is not a horse, Ella.
Of course, Ella still has her moments. She’s just a child after all. However, we’ve found life much easier than for some parents (not all) who have children closer together. But that’s just us.

My lovely reader is quite keen to hear other parent’s thoughts on the issue. What do you think the ideal age gap is? What’s been your experience?
August 1, 2011